Life as Sooz

4 day weekend...

2012-01-26T14:32:00.000+11:00

I'm on day...
1 of a 4 day weekend! How spectacular is that? Today being Australia Day and with tomorrow being Friday I decided to take an annual leave day to maximise my chill out time. So I'm getting the housework and washing and all those boring bits out of the way today today so I don't have to think about them for the rest of the weekend. So much easier to relax when you don't keep thinking "oh I must do this" or "bloody hell I still haven't done that". Housework sucks but I do love a neat and tidy house. Can't relax with it being messy.

Later today I'm...
going with Mrs X-Neighbour to see The Descendants then maybe a bite to eat afterwards. I've never been a huge fan of Clooney [can't see what the fuss is about - give me Ben Affleck any day] but I've heard the movie is pretty good. The goal for my 4 day weekend is to get out and about and spend time at home relaxing and not waste a minute stewing over Teen•M or the circus that has become my workplace. [Our department executive manager is the biggest twat on planet]

Tomorrow I've got...
my car booked in to have a new CD player fitted after mine died at age 6! I would have expected it to last much longer. Then when I rang the dealer I was told a brand new one was over $600! No thank you. My dashboard is curved when makes it difficult to just go and get any old brand fitted. I'm told it can be done but who wants to risk that? Instead I'm going for a reconditioned one for $150. It still comes with a 1 year warranty so I'll take the risk. I want to begin playing my Learn to Speak French CD to and from work so I can at least pretend I tried to learn. I've heard the French don't like it when tourists don't even attempt to communicate with them in their native tongue. I will mostly turn out to be biggest French speaking bogan this side of the equator but at least I tried!

good news, bad news and what's in between...

2012-01-20T20:42:00.000+11:00

The good news is...
my air conditioner was fitted today.

The bad news is...
my son has quit yet another job!

So what's the plan? Number 1 is "stay calm". I can already feel my stress levels rising. My thyroid area feels swollen when I begin to dwell over things. At least I won't be stressed and hot because I now have a brand spanking new air con. My air con will be put to the test within the week as the temperature is on the rise again after a few coolish days. Bring it on!

Living with a teenager is pure hell. If anyone tells you otherwise they are lying. LYING I TELL YOU. My son wont stick to a job, wont decide what he wants to do, has run his phone bill up to $1000 [and can't pay for it because surprise surprise he just quit his job], lies about 95% of the time and is lazy.

But for all my frustration I have to remain positive. I have to remind myself he's immature and more than slightly stupid [my fault because I had 1 cigarette a day when I was pregnant] and that I'm lucky that I have him stinking up my house and leaving my web browser open on a porn site. Lucky I tell you dammit.

But seriously. I am. I'm lucky because I still have him safe and well and at home with me. There are teens dying all over from drugs, from car crashes, from suicide....from stupidity. Yes he's as flimsy as a cotton dress in a swirl of wind but he is basically good. He still helps around the house [after much nagging]. He still texts me when he's out [when his phone isn't disconnected]. I have a lot to be grateful for....but I still retain the parental right to whinge because, well, because I have to live with him

red hot and air conditioner-less...

2012-01-17T18:13:00.000+11:00

Jesus it's bloody...
hot. I just read over my last post and noticed I had the heater on! Hot. Cold. Hot. Cold. Melbourne weather is so damn fickle. We are currently having a burst of mid 30's days which will subside for a few days then heat back up again. It is with some glee that I say my air con is getting installed on Friday. They promised me this week then didn't call to book me in and when I finally chased them down they tried to push me back to next Tuesday. No thank you. This house is horrid when the temp rises above 30°C. By this time next week who knows if I'll be using my new air con or the ducted heating.

Went to the...
Star Voyager exhibition at ACMI [Australian Centre for the Moving Image] on the weekend. It was a massive disappointment. I expected so much more from it. There wasn't even a single itty bitty thing about Star Wars. I don't know what they were thinking and can only fathom a guess that it is a licensing issue. They briefly touched on Star Trek but only because they had a couple of the space suits from the series. On the up side Ms Kiwi and I lunched at Caffe e Torta, a funky little cafe on Little Collins street where we were seated next to a French guy and served by a French waitress.

Now that I'm...
in the process of making plans for France, France is everywhere. The Sherlock Holmes movie I saw last week was partly based in France. BTW, if you haven't seen it yet, Robert DJ gets his shirt off which results in a few pleasing moments for the ladies. Can't say I've ever been a fan until I saw him in Iron Man and the first Sherlock Holmes. Hmmmm much worthy of sitting up straight and taking notice.

no icicles on my bicycle...yet

2012-01-11T20:15:00.001+11:00

I have the...
heater on. ON! It's January 11!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thank god George...
is back. My morning latte was the BEST ever today. Well that's a lie, its great every day with George.

I am beginning...
to take my impending trip to Europe a little more seriously. I think I've settled on a tour that combines a coach with the fast train which should make things a tad more interesting. The tour starts in Rome and ends in Paris but only spends the last 2 nights in Paris which really equates to around a day and a half spent in the city as far as I can tell. I had thoughts of moving on to England for a few days but in retrospect I would be merely tacking that on to extend the trip a little. I think I would much rather stay on in Paris at the end of the tour and see more of it. After all Paris is where I really want to go so it would be a shame to cut it short for England.

I'm off to...
peddle on my bike for 5 minutes. NO really. I am. Well I might try for 10 minutes but we don't want to overdo it now do we? I missed my dog walk tonight thanks to the goddamn crazy Melbourne weather so I probably should struggle through 10 minutes.

a garden full of dead...

2012-01-10T21:04:00.000+11:00

I have been...
outside picking the dead rose heads off my rose bushes. Yes BUSHES. I have an entire garden bed of roses. My worst nightmare because a] they always get that annoying bloody blackspot and b] they require as much attention as a bratty child. My life is now reduced to spluttering when the wind changes and the blackspot spray blasts back into my face and aimlessly pulling dead heads whenever I'm out there. According to my aunty I will be well rewarded with blooms well into the autumn. And they are pretty. I'm yet to cut any for a vase.

I'm getting frustrated...
with my lack of motivation to lose a few kilos. This aint rocket science. It merely requires me to get off my butt just that little bit more each day and shove that little bit less into my gob each meal time. I still do my dog walking 3 times a week but its not enough. I certainly don't overeat by any stretch of the imagination and I limit my chocolate. It's simply age + slower metabolism + sitting all day. I've made somewhat of a lame start today by doing 5 minutes on the exercise bike (yes, pathetic I know but last time I went hell bent for leather I couldn't walk for a week) and only having soup and a slice of naan bread for dinner followed by fruit and yoghurt. Unfortunately I bought a giant caramello koala last night and it is sitting in my room calling to me so there is nothing to do but eat the damn thing in one fell swoop and pretend it never happened. I suspect if I gave up my daily lattes it might make a difference but hell will freeze over before that happens.

My wireless doorbell...
must be on the same frequency of someone near by. It keeps ringing at odd times and no ones there. Bugger me if it's the only brand known to man that doesn't have multiple frequencies to choose from.

zzzzzzzzzzzz...

2012-01-09T15:06:00.000+11:00

Right this very...
second I want to lay my weary head down upon my desk and sleep. There are more important places to be than here. Like my bed.

the vegetable stack...

2012-01-08T18:03:00.001+11:00

I had the...
most divine lunch today at Barclays. Funny thing is I've lived within half hour of this cafe since it first opened however many years ago. And often times I thought "Must go there." to promptly forget about it shortly thereafter. You see its at the bottom of a shopping strip that one wouldn't normally think of stopping at. What an absolute shame its taken me this long to get there. This cafe has a great reputation and deservedly so. Both my girlfriend and I had the vegetable stack, of which I am sorry to say I didn't take a snap of because it was something of a masterpiece. Sadly I thought of this when I had almost devoured the entire thing which had the biggest mushroom I've ever see in it. We followed it with a generous slice of lemon, lime and pear tart - the pear being atop the tart in a glaze. Yum. Yum. Yum. We finished off with coffee which was not the best I've had but certainly good enough. All in all, a great dining experience. I can't wait to take Ms Kiwi there.

You will be...
pleased to know I am still perched atop the hot pink gym ball as I type this. I find my hips and lower back appreciate it all the more but my upper back is still coming on board with the whole idea of being straight. I like that you can bounce up and down whilst surfing the net.

I've promised a...
friend I will make a brochure for her. I keep putting it off (I'm meant to be doing it right this minute) because I have to make it in Microsoft Publisher. Publisher! Not only make it Publisher but a 1998 version of the program no less because that's all I have! Even if I made it a mission to get a newer version I can only go up to 2003 as this is all she has and she would like to be able to update it herself. And to make it all the more difficult she is printing it on her home machine which limits the design as you can't have any photos or colour run to the edge of the page.

balls to you...

2012-01-07T18:07:00.002+11:00

I'm trying my...
hand [or rather my behind] at sitting at my computer on a gym ball. Yes. A gym ball. I'm not sure why. In the faint recesses of my mind I remember someone saying it was good for your posture. And since my computer chair has been giving me grief I decided I'd try one since they are around $200 cheaper than the type of chair I would need to buy for my very fickle lower back. So far I've been sitting here all of 10 minutes and I'm yet to be convinced. Add to that the fact it was rock hard last night when I tested it and I've had to pump it up again today. Not too keen on the idea of building muscle with the hand pump every time I want to use the computer. Plus my upper back is now hurting because I'm sitting up straight. And we can't have that.

Speaking of backs...
I think its time to replace my mattress. It's not old old, it's probably 5-7 years old. When I first got it it was love at first sight [or is that love at first horizontal quest?]. It's one of those pillow tops mattresses that makes you dream you're being enveloped by clouds as you lie upon it. These days I find I have to turn it constantly because I've developed some nasty little hollows where my bulk lies and because the pillow top is only on one side this limits your turning capacity. I've resorted to sleeping on the wrong side which obviously was never made for sleeping on but is rendering me a better nights sleep. I ducked into a few shops today to see what I might be up for $$ wise. When did mattresses get so damn expensive? One company which will remain unnamed wanted on average around $2000 for a mattress. We are not talking mattress and base here. Just a mattress!

Seriously, Easter eggs...
on January 2nd? I'm not even religious and the entire concept enrages me. A supermarket spokesperson's response? "We are simply meeting customer demands". Right then all you freekazoid customers who march into shops on January 1 and demand to be sold easter eggs. Stop it right now! You are being greedy and driving the stores to be seen as exploiting Jesus!

I'm so buying one of these...

2012-01-05T12:55:00.000+11:00

I'm so buying...
once of these. Just as soon as the guy from ebay gets back to me with the circumference and length. I'm already resigned to the fact the length will NEVER be long enough. Then there is the issue that it runs on a 9V battery. Now let's be serious here. Is anything that runs on a 9V battery going to be strong enough to do battle with Aussie spiders? I think not. But I live in hope.

We had the...
biggest bloody hunstman on the wall the other night. It's been hot. Damn hot. I came home and walked through the dark loungeroom. I did a few things in the kitchen then walked back into the lounge and put on the light.
And there it was.
Huge.
Camped out on my wall.

I called in...
Teen•M. He's as big a wuss as me. But we battled on together. Side by side. Until that sucker was dead and outside.

But seriously...
I'm guilt ridden every time. Why should the spider have to die because I have an irrational fear?

sizzle sizzle...

2012-01-03T11:44:00.000+11:00

How in the...
hell do people survive without air conditioning? It reached 34°C in my house late yesterday afternoon. I was beyond even sitting quietly and reading my Bill Bryson book it was that damn hot in here. I had to drag my hot pink recliner into the kitchen (the coolest room in the house which means it was possibly 32° there instead of the 34° in the lounge) and resort to giving myself a sponge bath with cool water and a flannel. Apparently last night's temperature didn't get down much below 30° so it's pretty clear that my house was at least that all through the night. And here I was thinking this house would remain cooler than my old fibro cement house with the colourbond tin roof. Not so. Today we are in for another hot one so reluctantly I will head out and do some more shopping so I don't have to sit here on the verge of passing out. At least the car and shops have air con.

Today is my...
last day of R&R. Tragically I have to return to work tomorrow just when the temperature is about to drop down to a more realistic number. I could use another week to just laze about and do a whole lot of nothing. I think in order to ease back into it I will make it a goal to do very little actual work during my first day back.

I have begun...
looking into my trip to Europe which I hope to do later this year. I even suggested to my mum that she may want to join me as she's been trying to go for the past few years but can't get anyone to go with her. She wants to do one of those European river cruises. I don't. My latest thoughts are to concentrate on a tour of France and Italy and maybe finish off with some time in London, either on another tour or by myself. Thus far she seems keen to join me.

road trip...

2012-01-02T17:21:00.000+11:00

There's nothing like...
a solo road trip. It wasn't too long ago those road trips were spent with my one and only - Teen•M. I get a bit choked up if I think about those times and this trip was even more bittersweet because Teen•M and I did the very same trip to Bendigo around 5 years ago. He says he doesn't remember. That's hard for me to hear but at least I remember. I remember all the times we hit the road or boarded a plane for a trip. And we've fitted in quite a few since I separated from his father over eleven years ago.

Two nights with...
my sister, her husband and her two kids in a cabin in a caravan park was more than enough. Morning one I was kindly woken (at 6am) by the sound of a sliding door being opened and closed, opened and closed, opened and closed and on and on it goes for a good 10 minutes. Two year old's are great at doing repetitive, annoying things. Night two I cleverly put earplugs in. This sadly was not nearly enough to block out the earsplitting screaming that took place at midnight! Granted it was NYE and I shouldn't have been asleep but country air will do that to you. No one could establish what on earth would make my niece scream her head off in the middle of the night. "She never does that" my sister claimed. Never. Except for when her aunty is staying in the next room trying to get some shut eye.

I've become a...
raving Bill Bryson fanatic. I have just finished 'Notes from a Small Island' and am about to begin 'Walk in the Woods' if I don't first pass out from the hotbox that is my house. It's currently 32° in here. Hurry up air con man!

washing day...

2011-12-29T21:32:00.000+11:00

God I love...
being on holidays. I don't even have to be on a holiday to enjoy holidays. Just being at home is enough. Even hanging out the washing is enjoyable. Yes. That is my washing in the photo. This morning I realised just how much I love hanging out the washing in my new house because as I look up to peg the clothes I can see sky. Blue sky. At my last house the washing line was under some horrible tin roof extension that came off the side of the garage. The clothes took forever to dry under there. Not so here. They are out in the sun and spinning round and round in the wind on a good ole Aussie Hills Hoist. Of course, now there is the rain to worry about.

I went down...
Main street this arvo because I planned to drop into the Origin Energy shop to discuss having an air conditioner fitted ASAP (like before Sunday if possible!). Origin have an offer going where you pay 5% upfront then pay the rest off monthly over 2 years. Even though I have the money outright I figure its better sitting in my bank earning interest for 2 years as I slowly pay off the air con. Sadly for me I don't get to Main street often and the Origin shop was gone! No matter, I've ordered it online. Their site says current wait time until installation is 2 weeks. Methinks that's a big fat lie. If I have an air con within 2 weeks I will grown feathers and sit in my chicken shed for a day.

Whilst down at...
Main street I decided to walk the entire street. My local main strip shopping centre has a hell of a lot of character and plenty of hidden gems of one off shops. As I got near the end of the street I saw a little clothes shop that has been there forever. I decided for the first time in 23 years I was going in. Surprisingly it wasn't a clothing shop for little old ladies as I had always suspected and the proprietor was friendly and welcoming and spoke to me with the familiarity of age old friends. I didn't find anything suitable today but just thinking about her easy manner makes me definitely want to go back there. Now that's customer service.

the early bird catches the paper...

2011-12-28T20:34:00.000+11:00

I never voluntarily...
get up early if I don't have to especially not on holidays. This morning, ensuring Teen-M actually went to work was one of those mornings where I begrudgingly fell out of bed at 7:15am. Last night I decided I could sit here all day wondering if he was hiding behind a bush down the road until 5pm or I could drop him at work myself and watch him actually walk in. Yes. I really did that. I sat for about 5 minutes to make sure he went into work. Yes. I'm talking about an 18 year old not a 2 year old. Such are the fun and games of life with a teen.

What exactly does...
one do with themselves when they are up before 9am on a non-work day? Well, I read 3 papers. I never get to read the paper. In fact I make it a point not to and the only reason it's delivered to my home is that I signed up for some University deal where it costs you $20 a year and I pick it up at work if I want to (I don't) and it gets delivered to home on the weekends (useful for the TV guide and whats happening around town). Then come summer when Uni is out they deliver it to your home every single day which is somewhat annoying. But, this morning I have to say I enjoyed leisurely perusing three days worth of papers. It was nice to have that much time to waste.

Given that I...
wasn't sure of the status of my tummy bug I pretty much stayed put today and spent the morning researching split system air conditioners and the afternoon lounging in my hot pink recliner with Bill Bryson's Notes From a Small Island. I'm more than a little peeved that I've just left behind a newly installed split system to the value of $2,000+. Still, after the few mediocre hot days I've already sweated through in this house (and the few whoppers on their way) I'm not going to haggle over a measly few thousand.

a bug for Christmas...

2011-12-28T12:13:00.000+11:00

Here's what Christmas...
gave me....wait for it...a tummy bug. Thankfully so far its been rather mild. My sis and her family had a few bad rounds of gastro in the lead up to Christmas and now her and mum are claiming it "couldn't possibly have been them". Yeah. Right. Bit too coincidental for me. After much finger pointing and blame I found out the lady I walk the dog for has also had it.

In my new...
bid to be more positive and 'enthusiastic' about things I quashed my "oh woe is me getting sick on my hols" thoughts this morning and decided to tackle another angle: YAY I get to stay home and enjoy my new house and get to do all those quiet things I don't have time for when I am working. AND Teen-M has gone back to work so it's doubly special really.

I'm hoping that...
I will be well and truly over it by the weekend as I'm hoping to head off to Bendigo for a few days. The original plan was to camp with my sis and her family but turns out they have now hired a cabin for a week. They have a spare bed for me which is great if you like holidaying with the Griswolds. I much prefer camping but it's a bit sad to camp on one's own, particularly in a caravan park. In order to return home with my sanity and eardrums intact I'm planning some trips off on my own for peace and quiet. The Bendigo art gallery currently has a Hollywood photography exhibition on.

how I took on Christmas and won...

2011-12-27T19:20:00.002+11:00

Yes. I survived...
my first Christmas. It wasn't so bad. But then my mum did a lot of the work. And everyone pitched in. And tables and chairs had to be bought along so there was little pre-setup to be done by me. I have this glorious pergola area down the side of my house that continues around the back so we all sat outside. And when the rains came it was all fine and dandy.

Before I moved...
in I wasn't so sure about the pergola. It does somewhat block the light into my kitchen table area but it turns out it's a glorious spot to sit to have my morning coffee as the gap between the house and the Stratco roofing lets a nice sliver of warm sun through that lands exactly where I have my outdoor cafe setting.

There were some...
comments about the Christmas tree. "It's not really Christmassy is it?". What's not Christmassy about smiley faces and thongs? Last year there wasn't a tree. So the family should feel blessed that I even bothered really. And if you look hard enough you will see that is Santa impaled upon the top.

grumpy. big time...

2011-12-24T21:54:00.003+11:00

grump•y / 'grəmpē
Adjective: Bad tempered and sulky
Synonyms: peevish, ill-tempered

Yep. That's me. Grumpy. Big time.
On Christmas eve and all.

I could put it down to not getting laid for the past few years. (definitely a factor). I could put it down to having a bad month or so at work. (overworked and no extra pay) I could put it down to feeling like there are never enough hours in the day. (there never are) But it basically comes down to me not coping with a teenager. A teenager that lies. A teenager that's lazy. A teenager to whom everything, no matter how minute, is just too hard. Sounds fairly typical right?

Let's just say I lost the plot before. He ate the tin of Christmas wafers. You know the cylinder type ones with chocolate swirled through them. He at the entire freakin' tin when I specifically told him not to touch any of the stuff that was for Christmas. And then I found out he hadn't put his pool table together with the bolts and it was basically doing a balancing act and it was all too hard to get the bolts in because they wouldn't line up. So I lost the plot for the second time.

I need a plan.
A plan that gets stops me stressing over stupid little shit. For god's sake there are sick and dying children all over the world and I'm losing the plot over a stupid tin of wafers.

slowly melting...

2011-12-23T18:03:00.001+11:00

As I sit...
here slowly melting I wonder what it is I've gotten myself in for. I'm about to host my first Christmas e•v•e•r. Unfortunately for me I've left the baking of the gingerbread tree until today. And it's hot. And I don't have air con. Why? Because I couldn't decide whether or not to put in evaporative cooling or a split system. I've decided on a split system, however it's a tad too late and everyone is on Christmas break so good luck to me getting something installed this side of February. The irony is I installed a split system in my old home last summer and it was the the coolest summer on record. Or at least it felt like it. In fact, I used the heating on the system far more than the cooling. And so here I sit. Typing. Dripping.

It's been over...
a month since the move and it's been great. I find it amazing that I wasn't more emotional about leaving my home of 23 years but I guess it goes to show that I was more than ready to move on and thus far miss nothing but the stillness of the night. Well, that and the possum's going boom, boom, boom as they sprint across my roof. Without overhead powerlines and trees overhanging my house I don't seem to get them here.

Speaking of melting...
I had another mini meltdown yesterday. There were tears. You don't need the whole entire drama but suffice it to say Teen-M might as well take a knife and shove it in my heart every time he lies to me. What amazes me is how teenagers think you wont find out. It most cases of Teen-M's lying it is inevidable that the truth will be known eventually.

the thunk...

2011-12-10T22:01:00.000+11:00

Let me start...
by saying how happy I am with my new home. I love it. I love lots about it. I love that Teen-M and I are separated. I love that we are in a dead end street. I love that I have sliding windows that let in the lovely cool breezes that come at the end of a hot day. I love that I have a landscaped yard. I love that I have a spa bath. Oh how I love that bath. I love that I now have a big outdoor covered patio area where I can relax and read out of the sun. I love that I have my own bathroom. I love that I have a sliding door to my patio. I love that I have a carport.

So I've found...
a few flaws which is to be expected. Night one, a periodic small 'thunk' under the floor was more than alarming as I had just moved from a very quiet house in a very quiet street in a very quiet neighbourhood. Was this thunk going to drive me slowly insane each night as I lay there mentally begging for sleep to overcome me? Would this 'thunk' mean I had to move? Could I afford to move again? Once afternoon I sat quietly on my bedroom floor trying to source the area of the 'thunk' but it seemed to move about. I gradually deduced that the 'thunk' had something to do with the water pipes that run under the house. I still hear it but it doesn't keep me awake.

Something I did...
suspected was a possibility but the though occurred to me after I had bought the house - at night, with the windows open I can hear the dull roar of traffic. It's not loud but I'm very aware of it. I am a fair way in from two busy roads - one has three lanes each way, the other two. One is busier than the other and is in the direction of my bedroom window. I know I will eventually not hear it and it certainly isn't so loud or near that it keeps me awake. I just love peace and quiet and silence.

Last week I...
came to a rather disturbing realisation. I had been quite gleeful that I was moving from a suburb that was constantly changing due to subdivision to one that couldn't possibly be due to block size. As I wandered out my back door it hit me in the face. The house directly behind me was in an old part of my suburb and has a huge backyard. If they were to sell to a developer I will more than likely have a monstrosity facing me as I walk out my back door.

But I still have a spa bath. There's that...

a settled life...

2011-12-06T12:35:00.000+11:00

As I sat...
outside this morning in the gorgeous warm sun sipping my homemade skinny latte whilst watching the duck splash about in her pool I thought to myself "I'm going to be very happy here." followed by the immediate thought "I'm already very happy here." And I am. This move has come at the right time and has given Teen-M and I the space we need from each other.

It's been a...
tough few weeks and although things are getting easier I'm still being plagued with the odd nuisance. Last week I hurt my back, in all places, Ikea. I had gone with Ms Kiwi to buy 2 stools for my kitchen bench and a shoe rack for my cupboard. I must have twisted the wrong way when pulling the boxes off the shelf. I'm finally back to walking properly and out of pain only to be struck down by a damn head cold. Work be damned, I've taken the day off even though I think there was an advertising deadline today. Too bad. Someone else in the department can figure it out. I'm sick of running myself into the ground when other people manage to spend 89% of their day on personal phone calls or surfing the web.

The trouble with...
moving house so close to Christmas is I'm now caught off guard with pressies and plans for the big day. I like to have all my shopping done by now so I don't have to don my battle armour and face the shops. Fighting to the death for the last remaining carpark is not high on my list of fun things to do. Hopefully it's not too late to do some online shopping. To make matters a whole lot worse, I'm having Christmas at my house for the first time ever. There were certain advantages to having a teeny tiny house. Slacking off on Christmas day being one of them.

so this is hello...

2011-12-03T20:57:00.000+11:00

Well.

I'm back.

Yes. It's been a while. And not without drama let me tell you.

So I've moved...
that much you have probably deduced from my absence. I had moved my moving day from Friday to Saturday because settlement wasn't happening until 2pm and me not being a risk taker, decided to play it safe. Friday was sunny and around 33°. Saturday was cold and raining. At times, almost torrential rain. Nice. I sat on my back porch thinking whatever will be will be. Thankfully nothing got overly wet and those that did just needed a wipe down. FYI my settlement went through as planned around 2.30pm on the Friday.

The drama continued...
when my chook shed man said he would be a day later than anticipated. He dropped off a temporary a-frame hutch so I could move my chooks to the new house on the Sunday. He, hammer and nails in hand, turned up on Tuesday and proceeded to erect what could only be described as the Taj Mahal for chickens. A few hours into the build he staggered to the back door blinking and asked me if I could see anything in his eye. A screw had bounced off the shed and hit him in the eye and now he couldn't see anything out of it. He seemed more than a little alarmed, as did I. I offered to drive him to the hospital or call his wife, or whatever he needed. He slinked off unassisted, assuring me he would be okay and that he would be back tomorrow or the next day. Not so. Turns out he needed surgery as the screw had gouged out part of the iris. OUCH. A week and a half later he finally got back to finish the job which I must say, is quite impressive. At this stage it is unknown how much sight he lost but yes he can still see out of the eye.

My final drama...
was of course, my ADSL connection. Many hours on the phone to Dodo wasn't really reaching the root of the problem and I was about to send the modem back for testing and/or book a technician to check the line. Turns out they (or I) bloody spelt my name wrong on sign up so my user name was not spelled the same as my name. Unfortunately all this was revealed after I paid $49 for mobile broadband so I could temporarily get back online. Kudos though to Dodo whose customer service has been outstanding from the very minute I signed up.

well, this is goodbye...

2011-11-17T21:39:00.001+11:00

Okay, so it's...
not goodbye, goodbye as in forever but it is goodbye to my home of 23 years (this month) and goodbye to my internet for up to 10 days or however long they take to get their shit together. Them being dodo. Yes I finally picked one. And if their services sucks and their speed is crappy, my work cellmate will pay dearly! iinet missed the boat because they couldn't seem to 'process my application' until the phone line at my new place was disconnected. Oh well. They miss out.

Work still totally...
sucks with more and more work being loaded upon me. I need to deal with this and I need to deal with this soon. At the moment there is no corner of my life that is relaxed and nice and gooey and wonderful. At home I'm stressed, trying to live my son is stressful and a double workload is just too much. I'm turning into a great big whiner and the thing that excites me the most? The fact that I'm seeing my new counsellor next week! How totally sad is that?

If you have...
moved, are in the middle of moving or soon to move you should know this. Packing never bloody ends. Seriously. I am surrounded by boxes. I have one more night until my move and I should be packing right this very instant. But all that's left are shitty bits that just seem too hard to pack. I'm tempted to just toss them willy nilly into the back of my car and fling them out at the other end then turn around and come back for more.

And so I...
look forward to a stress free life. Soon. LIKE real soon. A life where I come home from a hard day's work (note: hard not frantic) and I pour myself a lemon lime and bitters and I take it out to my new outdoor setting and I sit under my pergola. It's a warm night and I pull out the latest book I've borrowed from the library - Bill Bryson. I read. I laugh. I sip. I relax. It's an all new me in an all new house with an all new attitude to life and relaxation.

sadly...no ice blocks...

2011-11-14T20:44:00.002+11:00

It has become...
absolutely necessary to start drinking. One's sanity is certainly worthy a glass of Baileys [or two]. Alas I only have half a glass left in my bottle of Baileys which has sat upon the shelf for a lazy year or two and since it means one less thing to pack I gladly finished it off. Double workload + 1 out-of-work-I-also-crashed-the-car teenager + moving house after 23 years does not = a measly 1/2 glass of Baileys. Sadly I'm also devoid of ice blocks because I've turned off my small freezer and melted all the ice cubes

If there is...
one thing I'm really quite peeved about it's the fact that I'm too crazy busy to actually be sad about leaving the first house I've ever owned. I was hoping for time to reflect and mull over what I'm going to miss. It's not to be. Although I did have nostalgic little thoughts here over the weekend they have been quite superficial. "This will be my last full Saturday in this house." "This will be the last weekend I sit out and look upon my big [overgrown] backyard." "Yes that view from my bedroom is lovely" and so on.

I think I've...
remembered the most important things to do when moving:

drink whenever necessary
sell whatever you can. If that fails beg people to take your stuff off your hands
make a show of cleaning just enough so you don't appear too slobbish
back up your photos onto your hard drive
dig up the old key in the backyard...if only you can remember where you planted it
don't entrust your camera or pc to the removalists.

the final countdown...

2011-11-11T20:53:00.002+11:00

Well it's now...
officially one week until I am the proud owner of my second ever dwelling. The only hiccup thus far is that I didn't get the morning settlement I had requested and now have had to change my moving day from Friday to Saturday. Fortunately the moving industry is quiet and they are giving me the same rate as Friday. Although I settle at 2pm the movers tell you they will be there any time from 12pm onwards. It's a bit risky, especially if the settlement doesn't happen as planned.

In an effort...
to get my sanity back on track I took advantage of workplace counselling. The place I work for hires an independent company and we get 3 free sessions a year (more can be requested if they are needed and are assessed on a case by case basis). Family members are also eligible for 3 free sessions. Not only all that but they also send the counsellor out to you or send a car to pick you up! I had a guy, a first for me as I've only ever seen women. He has already proven rather handy as we spent the first session pretty much figuring out how I'm going to get my son out of his room and back into 'life' again.

I'm still doing...
two bloody jobs at work and not the one 'new' job as promised which combined my digital marketing skills with graphic design work for print . Working in the public service sector might have the advantage of free counselling but their red tape is most likely what causes the need for having counsellors at our beck and call. Red tape has pretty much put a stop to our department getting a maternity leave replacement which leaves me currently juggling two very hectic rolls. Unfortunately the role I'm filling in for (advertising officer) is winning out because it's full of those tight deadlines we all love to hate. Still, I do love the thrill of seeing what I've designed printed in a newspaper or on a bus or billboard.

I was so...
bloody busy at work today that I forgot to observe the minute of silence for 11/11/11. Damn!

I wish I had a dog's life...

2011-11-06T17:55:00.001+11:00

So I've managed...
to calm down somewhat but there is no denying, when your son breaks the law that there is some serious shit. I ask myself "How much worse can it get?". It can get a hell of a lot worse. Trouble is, he's idle day in, day out. His job hunting is sporadic at best and no combination of threats and harassment on my behalf seem to make an iota of a difference. Thanks to not being able to connect to the internet yesterday morning he has now lost computer privileges. I've now password protected the pc and he's been told he can ask me to log him in when he feels the urge to get off his lazy ass and look for a job. He has also lost access to his car and he will not be getting any more driving lessons off myself or my family until something changes. And that change had better damn well be monumental.

This weekend should...
have seen me carrying out some intensive interaction with numerous cardboard boxes. It's now 5:47pm Sunday night so let's just say it's not looking too promising. Yesterday I was comatose wondering where my parenting skills went wrong. Today I managed to scrub the duck's cage and not much else due to a dire need to vent to Ms Kiwi at a cafe in the bush. Thanks be to friends who are happy to just sit and listen.

My own house...
settled on Friday so I am now officially homeless. Homeless but very cashed up indeed. The buyer had requested an early settlement and I obliged as they are letting me remain rent free until my new place settles which is in exactly 12 days. Taking off right now with my bank balance in hand [or tucked down my sock for safety reasons] is looking more and more fetching the more I think about it. I envy people who can disregard everything and everyone and just hit the road and worry about the future when it happens.

The only good...
thing to come out of the weekend was my mini photo shoot with the dog I walk as part of a volunteer program. How simple is a dog's life? Eat, sleep, walk, bark, sniff, be loved, love back.

my gorgeous freakin' son...

2011-11-05T14:30:00.001+11:00

2 weeks, 2 weeks...
2 weeks. 2 weeks 2 weeks, 2 weeks. The chant I'm using in an attempt to keep me sane. Why you ask?

My gorgeous freakin' son of 18 years has taken his car out unlicensed and crashed it all down the side of one of the rear doors.
My gorgeous freakin' son can't stop lying through his front teeth. He lies about abso•fuckinglutely•eveything.
My gorgeous freakin' son has once again racked up a $200 mobile phone bill.
My gorgeous freakin' son has made me cry with the rude, horrible way he treats me.
My gorgeous freakin' son has made my mother cry because she put away money for years to help him pay for his first car.
My gorgeous freakin' son still manages to access and fuck up my internet connection even when I remove the modem from the home.
My gorgeous freakin' son won't get a job.
My gorgeous freakin' son sits in his room doing fuck all, day in, day out. It drives me insane. So insane that I want to smash things.
My gorgeous freakin' son is an asshole!

It wasn't until I was marching out the door to report him to the police that he handed over his car keys. Truth be told, right now I'd rather be childless. I would rather he didn't move with me in 2 weeks time. There. I said it.

must I pack?...

2011-11-01T11:37:00.000+11:00

Gotta love a...
super long weekend. It's cup day. The race that 'stops' a nation. Does anyone really care? It's a day off from work and that's all that really matters.

As I dragged...
my creaky body out of bed at 9am a sudden urge to cook pancakes rushed over me. My generous 3 stack with lashings of maple syrup might have been better left as a 2 stack. Followed with a less-than-ordinary latte, my stomach is feeling rather unforgiving right now.

Today is the...
day I vowed to spend a serious amount of time packing boxes. Right now I'm here. Typing. And its 11:26am already. So far its not looking too promising. It is of some concern that if I pack too much too soon I wont be able to access my computer because it will be buried behind boxes!

Teen-M took off...
at 9am yesterday to spend the day with a mate which was cause for great celebration. A whole entire day with the house to myself. Then it got even better! How much better could it be you ask? He rang at dinner time and asked if he could spend the night at another friend's house. I laughed down the phone "As if I'm going to say no." Thankfully I had scrubbed my bathroom from top to bottom yesterday so spent a relaxing half hour in the tub (trying to use up my rose bath oil before I move to the house with the spa), watched an episode of Mad Men, The Celebrity Apprentice (Deni you clearly have bitchy tendencies) and The Big C which has turned out to be a surprising gem of a program. What more could a girl ask for?

Dodo anyone?...

2011-10-31T15:53:00.001+11:00

One night last...
week I decided to get stuck in and begin packing. Unfortunately I began with books. Books are probably not a great place to start. Or then again, maybe they are. Once a box is half full you really need to move onto the next box because they are too damn heavy. Then there's the dilemma of what to top the box up with so you don't seal a half full box (boxes are damn expensive). This is easier than you think. Large, light items that aren't breakable are not in abundance. I now have around six still open boxes miraculously awaiting chunky items to finish them off. Not a good look to my neat piles that reside in the corner of my spare bedroom/office.

Somewhat impressed with...
my multitude of half packed boxes I vowed to chug along regularly, adding to the pile at will. It is now approximately a week later. My pile has not multiplied even though I've had the past 3 days off! Today was going to be the day. But then I had a facial and massage appointment this morning and I've managed to half scrub the bathroom in between two homemade lattes (made with Grinders Crema of course) and shortly I have to go walk my step-dog. Where has the day gone?

On the bright...
side, I have cancelled my home phone and internet, booked my chicken shed, organised to have an alarm fitted shortly after I move into the new place and have signed up for iinet, who have left me far from impressed. I signed up online last week. I have had no confirmation via any means that they have my application. A few days later I emailed them via an online form asking if I am going to be able to take my phone number with me. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Not looking good so far. Dodo anyone?

time to panic...

2011-10-26T20:27:00.001+11:00

Eeeeek....
only a little over 3 weeks to go and the panic is beginning to set in. Doesn't help that I've just been told my job role needs to change somewhat urgently to cover a 12 month maternity leave role. 2 days hand over is not enough!

I just committed...
to pay an absolute fortune for a chicken shed. I•shit•you•not.

I have not...
packed more than 1 box. Yet.

my life in boxes III...

2011-10-24T19:40:00.001+11:00

I've gone and...
done it. I've officially packed my first box. Seeing the occupant of my future house and all her already packed boxes has enticed me to kick it up a notch. I began with my bestest dinnerset that hasn't seen the light of day since the 80s. It's a classy black octagonal set with a gold line. I seldom entertain so it rarely gets out. Just my luck that a piece will get broken in the move now that I've been forcefully nominated to have Christmas as my place this year. I've never had Christmas (one of the perks to having a super small house).

I'm procrastinating bigtime...
over an internet/phone provider. I can't take my cable account because cable is not available in that area. My two choices are ADSL1 or wireless. ADSL1 plans suck. They cost more than ADSL2. Why? Why? Why? I wasn't that keen on wireless but considering Teen-M and I constantly butt heads over his internet usage and sheer lack of understanding that practically everything he does drains the life out of it, this option is probably my best bet. It's more controllable, will save me from removing the modem every time I leave the house and I've heard its pretty sucky for playing online xbox. Win, win for me. I have to question why I would even consider paying more for internet when I'm purely doing it for the smelly lump that resides in my second bedroom and won't thank me for it. In fact, I have no doubt he will manage to bleed 50GB's in no time.

At least I...
have organised the gas and the electricity and have done my insurance research that points to staying with my current provider. Now I just have to make up my mind about the damn chicken shed. Sleepless, guilt ridden nights because you are making your chickens downsize is not sane.

skinny dipping...

2011-10-21T20:42:00.001+11:00

This is my...
soon to be bathroom. Well, truth be told, it will be Teen-M's bathroom as I have an ensuite in my soon to be bedroom. However, there is one particular part of this bathroom that is mine, mine, mine and not Teen-M's.

The spa bath.

Oh, how I've been dreaming of sliding into this tub since I first laid eyes on it. All bubbled up and blissful. It even has a little shelf to rest my head upon, something my tiny bathroom is missing, causing me to have to squish upright.

The only thing...
I have to worry about is if it doesn't work. Oh, how heart wrenching would that be? Unfortunately right now I don't know if it does or it doesn't and I discovered when I visited the house on Wednesday and met the owner, that she has never used it. Never! WT? I wonder if you can use oils with those jets?

4 weeks...

2011-10-21T20:29:00.001+11:00

How absolutely, totally...
devastating is it when your book arrives from the Book Depository all dinged up, dogeared and dirty! Very disappointed BD. I may be getting free postage all the way from the US of A but I still expect my book to be in pristine condition. Pristine. Somehow it's just not the same as a brand spanking new one that hasn't a mark on it. Somehow it just feels dirty.

Similarly disappointed was...
I tonight by my Chicken in plum sauce from the local chinese shop. Either they missed a vital ingredient in the sauce or they totally got my sauce wrong. I'm going with the wrong sauce. On the brighter side of things my dinged up book and tasteless chinese was obliterated by the fact that I have arrived home to a vacant house. Yes. Yes. Yes. The teen-monster has gone for the night. What absolute sheer utter bliss.

I paid a...

visit to my new home on Wednesday night. Mainly to measure up and decide where I'm going to have a hen house built. Total freak out when I walked in to find the owner was already packing! Packing! And I've packed....zilch, zip, nada, zero, nothing. She lives alone and has very little stuff. At first I thought she was moving out early. But no. She's just super organised. It not-so-gently reminded me that I really need a kick up the bum. But yet, I have no plans to start packing just yet.

As it gets...
closer to the move I'm beginning to concentrate on what I'm going to miss about my little fibro cottage of 23 years. In the past year (well, maybe years would be more like the truth) I've totally concentrated on what irritates me about this house, what I'd like to change if I had the money and the sheer lack of space. There hasn't been a whole lot that I've been gracious about. It all looks too hard, needs to much money or isn't good enough or big enough. But always I reminded myself just how lucky I am to even have a house of my own. And yes, I'm truly grateful for that, but it hasn't been without hard work, going without things and paying a mortgage for 23 years

Now that I'm...
moving on in a few weeks I'm much more conscious of what I'll miss. Like my bedroom. It's only just occurred to me that my bedroom is probably the only room of the house that I've never thought is lacking. It's north facing and although can be excruciatingly hot in summer it is deliciously sunny in spring, winter and autumn. It has six floor to ceiling built in cupboards and looks out into a world of green thanks to the shrubs I planted outside. Sitting at my kitchen table is something else I'm going to miss bigtime. My table, located in the corner of the kitchen overlooks two windows - both looking out into trees. It too has a window facing north and gets the sun. The fact the new house is south facing plays on my mind. It is not as sunny as this house and I'm only hoping I get used to it and that the sunny backyard and massive pergola outweighs it all as I love to spend time outside in the warmer months.

time to laugh...

2011-10-17T20:13:00.001+11:00

Some time ago...
I accidentally stumbled upon The Life and Times of the Thunderbolt Kid by Bill Bryson. As is my usual habit, I scour Amazon looking for memoirs then order a few either from there or from the Book Depository since they don't slug me with postage. The memoirs are usually by nobody's as I'm not overly interested in anyone loud, proud and famous. More often than not I end up with some doozies. Some so bad that I've trashed them, deeming them unworthy of even the op shop.

I fell in...
love with this totally unexpected fresh-breath-of-air-book. I had no idea until well after reading it that Bill Bryson is kinda well known. The man has wit to boot.

I could use...
a good laugh. Unfortunately our library is a little lean on his books but I've just managed to put a hold on this one. Pick it up tomorrow night. Good times ahead!

5 weeks...

2011-10-16T16:17:00.000+11:00

I'm on my...
second homemade latte of the day. Why? Simply because I'm avoiding cleaning out my linen closet. I've been gearing up for weeks to do it. It's always next of my list of things to do. But somehow it's still waiting. It's not even a big closet by anyone's standards. In fact it's kinda small. It just has stuff in it that seems to be difficult to get rid of. Most other cupboards I can say without wavering "Yes. That can definitely go." The linen closet is different. There's always the chance we might need old towels. Why? In case the dog that I don't own gets muddy and needs toweling off? Then there's always the chance we might have an unexpected house guest (never happened before) and then where will I be if I've thrown out all the spare bedding?

My crazy cellmate...
at work showered me in bananas for my birthday this week. Her reason? She couldn't make her trademark photoshopped card for me as I sit right next to her. Phew! She has a knack of finding people's quirky habits and displaying them on homemade cards. So in lieu of avoiding cleaning the closet I've also whipped up a loaf of banana bread today. Although I will point out this tasted very much like the banana cake I make and not really like bread at all. Still, what's not to love about banana cake/bread?

Five weeks to...
go until I move. But whose counting? Me. That's who. And it cant come fast enough. Let's just say Teen-M and I might just end up shredding each other into teeny tiny strips if we had to wait much longer than that.

Bad enough having...
to move myself, the teen, the half dead cat and all our crap. The headache multiples with the 4 chickens and my gorgeous duck 'Destiny'. Destiny is easily 10 years old, possibly even going on 11 this Christmas. I'm more than confident that shoving her in a cardboard box is not going to meet with her approval. I'm expecting a sqawky 7 minute drive. My chickens and duck currently have more space to themselves than most inner city humans do. Lets just say the land space of the chickens yard is comparable to an inner city terrace block. They are about to learn that with moving comes compromise. Still, a three metre yard is nothing to sneeze about and if they don't like it they can just just head on right back to the battery cage I picked them out from.

bad bad hair...

2011-10-15T18:51:00.000+11:00

Cranky and frustrated...
and very late for work thanks to bad, bad hair I scuttle along towards the entrance to the freeway. Well 'free' might be an exaggeration. My lateless thanks to my shitty hair which is, once again overdue for a colour and cut, means I have to use the tunnel which is a cool $2+ each way.

I look up...
and see 3 ducks flying overhead in a perfect V. I smile. Where are they going? Who decides who is going to lead the V? Does the same duck always lead? How simple would life be if I could fly around all day long? My eyes turn back to the road when I spy 2 birds sitting on a light pole overhanging the road. I look. Then I look again. 2 Kookaburras. Here. Right above the ~~free~~costway. Seeing one sitting alone is fairly normal. Seeing two, not so much. Suddenly everything is okay.

cake...

2011-10-12T08:42:00.000+11:00

Cake makes everything better....
well that and George's coffee at 8:30am...

burn baby burn...

2011-10-09T11:41:00.001+11:00

6 weeks to...
go and Teen-M and I have successfully tackled the garage which turned out to be a spiderless event thanks be to the bug bombs! We now have a nature strip full of hard garbage to be picked up. Some lazy ass decided to add their crap to my pile under the cover of darkness. Thanks a lot!

I put my...
wooden dolls house (made by my grandfather back in the 70's) onto freecycle and it was snapped up in an instant. The dolls house was a little different from most - an L shape 3 room design with a 2 section lift off lid. You played from above as opposed to from the side as with most dolls houses. This was my first experience using freecycle and I will certainly think twice before putting good stuff out in the hard garbage again. I have also sent a lot of good stuff to the animal aid op shop.

Yesterday I tackled...
my bedroom cupboards and decided it might just be time to burn my teenage diaries. Yes BURN. I'm not sure I want these to fall into unsavory hands. I can just imagine a group of hairy blokes complete with blue stubbie shorts and brown Blundstone boots coming across my teenage angst at the tip. What entertainment! Especially when it came to that bloody Neil Hanson who I fancied like mad and who saw me as an annoying buzzing insect to be annoyingly flicked away. I scanned a few of my diaries trying to find that momentous occasion of when I first became a woman. It was the summer of '83. January to be exact. I was just 16. Sweet, sweet 16. Here is what I lovingly wrote about the grand event.

"Ray and I had a root. Jesus it hurt."
*blush* As I said. Momentous. Just as it should be...

7 weeks...

2011-10-01T11:40:00.000+10:00

We have just...
passed the 7 week mark. 7 whole weeks until we move. It seems like an age but if I don't move my ass then I will be scrambling at the end. And I hate scrambling.

This weekend I...
am gearing up to tackle the garage. I hate. loath. detest. the garage. I gladly surrendered my garage over to spiders years ago. Big mothers, and of more recent a few redbacks too. After finding a few around the place this year I did a total freak out. Turns out we are having a wee bit of a redback epidemic. Some furious googling later revealed no one actually dies of the redback bite anymore since they came up with the anti venom. Still, one would rather not take the chance, me included. I asked Teen-M to bug bomb the shit out of the garage last weekend. It should be safe to get stuck in and trawl through what is garbage and what isn't. But as for those huntsmens? We get huge ones around here and I'm not convinced 3 measly bug bomb tins will have put so much as a dent in their hairy little egos.

On the up...
side of things I tucked $155 cash into my wallet after taking my vinyl down to the recycled record shop. I would have been happy with $50-$100. I was pretty ecstatic at walking away so cashed up. Another 3 large boxes and a few bags of stuff went off to the op-shop for reselling and I'm ready to get stuck into a few more cupboards this week. I'm loving the whole cleansed feeling that is resulting from this move. It's fantastic to finally let go of stuff I've felt too guilty to part with before.

So what's left...
to do? Lots, but most importantly I have to try and get the cheapest boxes I can for the move and let me tell you, boxes are damn expensive. I need to settle on a new broadband and phone provider along with a new gas/electricity company because I'm damn sure the bastards I'm using now didn't come through with the one month 'free' they promised when I signed my gas over.

so so bored...

2011-09-28T19:30:00.001+10:00

I am so...
freakin' bored with my job. Like really really bored. It's totally not helping that more than half the department is away. The place is like a morgue which I really shouldn't be complaining about because my daily gripe is how people wont shut the fuck up when other people are trying to work.

We have several...
people away on holidays. Away, away. Not just home away. Am I the only pleb who can't afford to jet off on a whim? I have a co-worker who jets off yearly. Last year Vietnam. This year the big ole' US of A For four whole weeks no less. I have suspected for some time that her father bought her a house and as she has no kids money isn't really an object. Half her luck. I mentioned to some co-workers that I might take a week off in November. They all said in unison "Where are you going?". Going? Nowhere that's where.

As for the...
boredom. I knew this job wasn't going to challenge me. It's in digital marketing. I love print and designing for print. I took it to get some stability and to finally put roots down in a large company after working for so many asshole bosses in small company's'. I knew I would have to bide my time before moving on. Although I've been there for a solid year and a half, for 6 months of it I was as an agency Temp. I think I've got a ways to go before trying to find something else.

social suicide...

2011-09-25T20:27:00.001+10:00

I'm sorry but...
I find social media a tad boring (blogging excluded of course). These past two weeks have seen me cover for my work cellmate as she jetted off to Thailand and Singapore. No, I'm not jealous, and never less so than an hour ago when a text from cellmate revealed she won't be in tomorrow due to a nasty tummy bug she picked up.

Her job is,...
in part, social media. She posts and monitors our company facebook and twitter sites. I bet that kind of job sounds glam to oodles of teenagers and twenty-somethings. Well I can tell you it's not. It's damn boring. Thankfully I discarded the idea of applying for her position when it was vacant earlier this year otherwise it's more than likely I'd be doing a daily faceplant on the desk out of sheer bloody boredom.

I'm a user...
of Facebook. A very limited user. I mainly use it as a vehicle to share my photos with a select few friends without broadcasting them to the entire world, just begging for them to be ripped off, only to turn up years later at some random website. I rarely feel the need to spread the word about what I'm doing today, tomorrow, two minutes ago. Or what I spread on my toast this morning or what my hotel room likes like when I'm on holiday. Does anyone really care? Well some people might. And that's why I blog here. Anonymously. Because, well, some people (like yourself) like to peer into other people's worlds. But it's best left here, not forced down the throats of those people who deem themselves my friends. Because some things are just better left to the imagination.

8 weeks...

2011-09-24T12:05:00.001+10:00

Friday: 10.15pm
tired...
finish watching Breaking Bad, Episode 1, Season 4.
Amble to bedroom...
think I might squeeze in a bit of reading before I nod off.
Pick up book 'Growing up Amish' Start reading. The final unwind before sleep.
Teen-Monster surfaces from his room. Decides even though he's been home all freakin' day that 10:20pm is the best time to take a shower and have his Eminem blasting.
My temperature rises. Bathroom is right near my bedroom.
I try to get back to my reading. Can't concentrate.
Blood begins to boil.
I give up. Put the book down.
Only 8 weeks until the new house...

the button...

2011-09-22T19:56:00.000+10:00

I stopped at...
Target on the way home. For clothes. I tried a pair of green capri pants on in anticipation of summer. Too tight. I undid them. The button fell off, hit my toe and rolled under the next cubicle. There was someone in the next cubicle. I let the button be. Goodbye button. This is a goddamn epidemic. Numerous purchases over the past few years have resulted in buttons falling off shortly after I get the items home. Now they are falling off before I get the item home. Does this explain the useless extra button they always attach to women's clothing? Why don't they damn well attach the freakin' button securely in the first place?

day 3 of 3...

2011-09-18T10:56:00.001+10:00

I'm just beginning...
day 3 of a long weekend. What's not to love about that? It has been absolute bliss. The weekend sure seems to go forever if you don't think about work. On Friday Ms Kiwi and I stopped by the Studley Park Boathouse which sits right on the outskirts of the city. Ms Kiwi unexpected had an SLR land in her lap and was keen to try it out so we sipped our lattes in the gorgeous sunshine, thoroughly enjoyed the balmy day and then moseyed around with our lens caps off. We also had tickets to the Tutankhamen exhibition which was amazing. Yes it would have been great to see the actual coffin or even Tut himself but seeing so many artefacts and in such amazing condition was fab. It's difficult to fathom the thousands of years these things have survived. We ended the evening at a small Italian restaurant around the corner from her new place.

Preparations for the...
big move have been chugging along nicely. I now have 8 weeks to go! Each week I manage to accumulate loads of stuff to go to the op shop for reselling. I'm no hoarder and having a small house I don't really have a lot of stuff but I'm kinda ashamed at the amount that went out the door yesterday - 3 boxes and a few big bags full. A lot of stuff that has sat idle for years...in the mix was a few pairs of shoes I've worn once because they never really fit correctly in the first place and I should have left them on the shelf and resisted. Really must stop doing that - buying things that don't fit perfectly! I'm excited about culling more stuff that I've not used in ages and really getting my belongings down to things that I want and use.

In an interesting...
development it turns out Mr IT split up from his fiance some months back so I did a U turn and replied "Well I certainly don't have anything against coffee with unattached men so if the offer is still there how 'bout next weekend?". His reply? He has being seeing a new girlfriend. And he is going to Bali with her over Christmas. And he wondered if that meant I wouldn't meet him for coffee. WT? So yet again I declined to meet with him. I'm 100% certain Mr IT does not see me as anything more than someone to chat with, which is fine with me but I do have a problem with a guy meeting someone behind the back of his fiance or girlfriend. I don't know what the gap was between fiance and girlfriend - I suspect not long at all and I also have to wonder at a guy who can't spend some in-between time enjoying being single. Being the least impulsive person I know I have trouble with the concept of jetting off with a new squeeze. Turns out she's dumped him on Friday night. Now he is stuck with an $1100 air fare. Oh well. Thems the breaks!

my life has...

2011-09-11T18:44:00.001+10:00

My life has...
totally become all about boxes and bubble wrap. Seriously. If I see an empty box I'm all over it, poking my nose in to see if its empty, almost empty or if there is the remotest possibility I can turf out the contents and take the box home with me. Bubble wrap I can sniff a mile off. The move is still a good two months away. God help me.

My life has...
become boring, something I find difficult to believe since I just bought a house - one of the single biggest things I've done in my 44 years (besides pushing out a watermelon). I think the boringness is a remnant of winter and my unwillingness to brave the elements. Each boring little day is the same as the last boring little day which is the same as the next boring day.. Ms Gen-Y who sits next to me at work suggested I try dating on RSVP to alleviate my boredom. Umm yeah. No thanks. Today I hit the road with Teen-Monster and Ms Kiwi for Ballarat (a large country town established during the gold rush years) which is a good two hours away. The purpose of the trip was predominately to get Teen-M's learner hours up but there also happened to be a huge photography exhibition in various building all round town. We left home at 9am. ON A SUNDAY MORN ING! I'm exhausted. Big drives in the country do that to you.

My life has...
become a mass of laziness. This in turn is making me fat. I totally will not get onto those scales until I ramp up the exercise. I'm hoping the arrival of spring coupled with longer hours of daylight will shove me along a bit. Well that and the fact that I totally have to begin throwing out clothes that I have no hope of ever fitting into again. My closet at the new house looks suspiciously smaller than I have here so somethings gotta give. And if I haven't been able to wear it for the past year (because of my gorgeous love handles) there's a good change I'm gonna have to ditch it. Well, all except for those cute black linen pants...and that sexy little singlet top...oh and....

Mr IT...

2011-09-08T12:10:00.000+10:00

Psssst...

Don’t tell anyone but I’m blogging at work. Yeah, yeah. I know. Lots of people do it. But I err on the side of goody-goody at work. Most days I put in a good solid 7 hours work, minus a few minutes here and there to check my gmail account. (It helps me sleep at night knowing I’ve done what I get paid for) I’m feelin’ a tad jaded today after a run in with the department manager who is a dweeb (and that’s being super kind) and right now everyone else is off to the CEO’s forum. zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Who would voluntarily go to that?

So Mr IT...

asked me out for coffee. Out of the blue. On the day I was agonising over whether or not to put in an offer on the new house. Let me backtrack a good year or more. Mr IT was hired to supply a new server by the last company I worked for. In fact, I was the one who decided we would use his services. We had a few conversations over a period of a couple of weeks. I decided from said conversations that he was single. Never was there a mention of the other ‘half’ when I asked him what he was doing on the weekends and so forth. I had deduced at some point that he was divorced and had two teenagers.

I took the plunge.

I asked him out.

For coffee.

It should be...

noted I took the coward’s way out. I asked via text. He didn’t answer yes or no but acknowledged I’d asked and thanked me for the invitation. Time went by. Perhaps it was month. Then out of the blue he texts me on a Friday night. Did I want to meet for coffee the next day? Hmmm. Curious that after all this time he finally says yes. Text a led to text b which turned into text c which eventually revealed he had a girlfriend. WHAT? I cancelled our plans. I made it clear that I don’t meet up with attached guys…friendly coffee or not. We stayed in contact via email and facebook only, maybe once every few months talking mainly about photography or sharing our latest snaps. Facebook informed me was engaged.

And then one...

day on my bi-yearly trek into an online dating site low and behold there he is. WTF? I check FB. Has he broken up with his fiancé? Apparently not!

The other week...

he suddenly invites me out for coffee again. Hmmmm. I think not. I’m still me. I still have all my morals intact thank you very much.

my life in boxes II...

2011-09-04T18:29:00.001+10:00

Kill me NOW...
I've only just begun with the room by room clean up in preparation for packing boxes early November. Yes, yes I know I have plenty of time but I want to enjoy some weekends without worrying. Today I've tackled my 3rd bedroom/office. At a glance I don't have much in this room - a computer desk, a cane chair, an exercise bike, a small cabinet of CD's. But dig deep and there's plenty hiding. I'm good at hiding stuff. All neat and tidy and crammed away in the desk and cupboard.

And so today...
I've been determined to get stuck in so I don't have to battle the throwing out/recycling clean up when I'm packing. Today there were plenty of dreaded "what if I might need this someday" moments. And the "what the hell does that cord plug into?" moments. And the 'aaaahhhh I remember that, how could I possibly throw that out?" moments. But still, I battled on.

I've even managed...
to take the relevant steps to begin the parting of ways with my 1980's heavy metal vinyl collection. I've typed up a list of my albums [apart from any Pink Floyd, Iron Maiden and Black Sabbath] and emailed a guy who sells vinyl online. [YES. I KNOW. Iron Maiden...what can I say?]. Strangely all my vinyl singles are 80s pop. Go figure.

coming and going...

2011-08-30T20:29:00.000+10:00

I found out...
yesterday that my house is going to sit empty. For some time. Originally I had been told it is to sit empty for a little while then be rented for the next few years before being refurbished and units built in the backyard. The fact that my house was going to be occupied and not demolished made me very happy. But as I sat in my living room tonight and thought about my little house sitting cold and empty for what could be up to a year or two I wondered if my house would be sad. Will this house miss us? Miss our noise? Miss our complaints? Miss our happiness? Silly I know. But a house is just a house until people and things make it a home.

One thing is...
for sure I will have to steel myself to not think about what I'm leaving behind and concentrate on what I'm moving towards. This week I am really really really looking forward to the spa bath. Yes! A spa bath. It's just a regular rectangular spa bath but it's more than I have now and it looks deeper than the bath I have now. PLUS there is a shelf to rest my head upon and burn my candles. Bliss.

my life in boxes...

2011-08-27T12:23:00.000+10:00

So far it...
has all gone smoothly. A cynic would say a little too smoothly. The paperwork, loan approval and building inspection on the house I'm buying is all complete. From the minute I met the building inspector he kept telling me what a great house I'd bought. Now that's gotta be a good sign right? In less than 3 months I will be in my new house. I'm in the midst of the contract for the sale of my current house - this should hopefully be signed by the buyer early next week. Then it's done. Set in stone. No going back! I am now an expert in buying and selling and it's not so scary after all.

My life in...
boxes is about to begin. I'm already snatching up any cardboard box I see - at work, at the supermarket. Then there's newspaper and bubble wrap to begin hoarding in anticipation of wrapping delicate items. Being uber organised in most facets of my life I have already made it a policy that if I open a cupboard I have to find something to get rid of. Everything needs to be looked at in the harsh light of day. How long since I've used it? Have I ever used it? Will my life stop if I give it away? Fortunately having lived in a small house for 23 years I don't have a whole lot of unnecessary stuff but it's always great to get rid of stuff that sits idle.

I imagine it...
won't be long before I feel the need to begin packing stuff that isn't a day to day necessity. My worst nightmare would be to have an intense week of packing right before the move. No. Not me. I need to be organised. In control. Prepared. I envision my 'office' [spare bedroom] becoming my storage space for packed boxes over the coming months.

the house...

2011-08-20T17:39:00.001+10:00

I just bought...
a house. A house! Yes I know, it's hardly earth shattering. People buy and sell houses all the time. But not me. No. NOT me. I'm still living in the same house I bought when I got married at the tender age of 22. That's almost 23 years ago. The seed was planted around 4-5 weeks ago when a colleague said she was thinking about moving. She also added "The average person moves house every seven years". Whoa. I thought. Who in the hell has the time, let alone the money to move every seven years. But the seed was there. Then it grew along with the realisation that I've been discontented for some time and no amount of money spent on this house was going to change that. With Teen-M no longer communicating with his father and home all the time we are practically climbing over one another. "Something might just have to change" I thought. And so I began looking.

And then I...
found it. Just last weekend. The house that is going to address all of our problems. Bigger house. Smaller land. The complete and total opposite of what I have now. But could I do it? Could I take the plunge? All Monday I felt totally and utterly sick. Sick like I have never felt before. This decision was huge. Being cursed with sensibility I had to weigh up every pro and every con. I think that 24 hours was more painful than giving birth to Teen-M some 18 years ago.

So I did...
it. I put in an offer. An offer I was sure she would refuse. I sat back and waited expecting to have to up my offer within 24 hours. But wait. What's this? She accepted. OMFG. Then a sick panicky feeling washed over me again. Is this the right thing to do? Yes. Yes it is. It's finally time to make some big changes.

holy crap...

2011-08-18T20:44:00.002+10:00

Holy crap I just bought a new house...

dear ms lush...

2011-08-07T17:52:00.000+10:00

Dear Ms Lush,
When I sat down next to you last night I thought we might get along swimmingly. You looked like a sensible woman. How wrong was I? It wasn't far into the evening when I noticed you were chugging down the wines at an alarming rate. Every time I turned around and your chair was empty I wondered "Has she gone to the goddamn bar again?" Each time you arrived back from your bar run I noticed the tablecloth start to wear more and more of what should remain in the glass. Every time you sloshed your wine you let out a laugh. Haha. I grimaced at you, faking a smile.

I watch your arms flail around as each trivia question is called out. The glass teeters as you attempt to contribute your answers. A little wine is spilled here and there. I watch your glass carefully for I am sitting too close. I just know one of your glasses has my name on it. I edge away slightly but the table is crowded. There is nowhere to go. I get caught up in the next round of questions. This is my first ever trivia night and its for a good cause - an animal shelter so I'm enjoying the night.

It comes from nowhere. I feel a splash of cold. Over my wrist. Up my sleeve. Down my thigh. I'm shocked. "What just happened?" I wonder. It takes a moment to sink in. You have finally done it. You have finally included me in your celebrations. You have spilled your bloody wine all over me. At least it's white wine. You don't apologise but at least you had the decency to find me a napkin to towel myself off with as you carry on with your drinking. I pray for the evening to be over.

sexy in red...

2011-08-02T20:14:00.000+10:00

I've ordered my...
Polaroid 300. In red. What's not to love about that? It's all part of the 'happiness' plan. I am coasting along these days not really seeing, feeling or doing. It's time to change all that. Or at least attempt to change all that. I don't think I'm going quite as far as the 365grateful project due to the cost of the instant film but it will be something similar. Here's a thought: 3•Things. Three makes it manageable. Three sounds more like something I will stick to. Perhaps 3 photos per week, 3 positive thoughts and 3 things I want to change. Now I just have to find myself a journal...

glass half empty kinda life...

2011-08-01T18:47:00.001+10:00

My glass is...
half empty these days. Why? And when the hell am I going to snap myself out of it?

[not so] important happenings...

2011-07-31T11:42:00.001+10:00

I went and...
looked at another house yesterday. Maybe I really will be able to extract myself from this house where I've parked by tushy for the past 22.8 years. I'm just not sure what will finally tip me over the edge and I'm not sure what is holding me captive here as the house and garden is getting to the stage where I need to begin to invest both time and money and I'm not so sure I'm up to it. Yesterdays house was nice, much nicer than I have now. There were a few things I would change but nothing overly dramatic. No shifting of walls and so forth. The main bathroom had bright red tiles which kinda knocked your eyeballs out of their sockets when you rounded the corner and first saw them. Teen-M hated them but I could totally see him in a red and white bathroom. The place had ducted heating as well as a Coonara in the lounge for those weekend wintery nights. I think the main problem was lack of separation of a large area for Teen-M to hang out without me yelling "Turn that down!".

Other important happenings...

my geriatric cat can't seem to make her poop land in the litter tray anymore
17 year old teen-m has lucked out and is buying a car from a family friend
I've lost the release plate on my tripod...a tripod I've used all of 3 times
I'm almost up to the last Mad Mad Season 4 disk...oh no! what then?
I'm off to gorge myself on coffee and cake with Ms Kiwi this afternoon

when monday is thursday...

2011-07-28T20:35:00.002+10:00

So I took....
my snotty self off to work today [my Monday since this is the first day of the working week for me, which is really your Thursday]. On the drive in I had an "oh no" moment. I forgot to log into eBay last night so I could bid on the 1980s Polaroid camera. Dammit. I promised myself I wasn't going to look, but I did. It went for only $60! Dammit, dammit, dammit. I would have gone to $90.

It was good...
to return to the land of the living even if my head wasn't really in it. I now have one of those delicious full blown head colds that makes me sound like I have balaclava shoved in my gob. I battled on though as another day off would have meant another 30 or so emails jamming up my inbox. We can't have that now can we? As I spent the better part of the morning wading through them I came upon one that informed me I was working in the city tomorrow morning. Oh Joy. I hate the city.

I stopped by...
Officeworks on the way home because they had the Polaroid 300 on their website and I decided that "yes... I really want one and I want it now". Turns out they don't actually have them in store. Why bother advertising them then?? They had the Fuji but that's really kinda pointless right? It's gotta be a Polaroid or nothing. I will hang out until I find the real deal.

On a more...
upbeat note I placed an order from the Book Depository so at least that's something to look forward to. Who doesn't love receiving books in the post. Besides the usual amusing memoir I've also ordered Growing up Amish which will be something a little out of the ordinary for me

when being sick becomes boring...

2011-07-27T16:09:00.001+10:00

Three days home...
being sick is more than enough for one person to bear. No really. The boredom begins to set in by day 3. Suddenly bed no longer looks inviting and having the house to yourself becomes more of a dreary nightmare and less of a novelty. Today I have completed my tax, searched for houses that have come up for sale since the last time I looked [yesterday], looked at kit homes, visited websites of well known builders of brick dwellings, changed my blog template [again] and looked at possibly buying a laptop that I will hardly ever use. I've also checked in on a vintage 80s Polaroid camera on eBay that is still only around the $30 mark but is worth several hundred as a collectible item and risked the cold by going outside and cleaning the ducks cage. I managed a supermarket run but only because the sneezing and wheezing that has surfaced today warranted some good old cold and flu tablets.

Last week I...
decided I was tired of waiting for my local video shop to change Mad Men Season 4 from overnight to weekly so I went and bought it myself. My local shop buys a season of a particular TV show then separates the disks and hires them out one at a time - each disk might have 4 episodes or more on it. When they first get them in they put them on the overnight hire shelf. Who in their right mind would want to rush through 4 episodes in one night? That's just stupid. MM is to be savored like a fragrant oil filled hot bath or expensive Haig's chocolates. The trouble is I watched Season 1 through 3 by borrowing it from the video shop. Now I'm going to have to buy them or look ridiculous for only owning Season 4.

sick and loving it...

2011-07-26T19:59:00.000+10:00

My massage and...
facial were divine thank you very much. Yes I dragged my sorry behind along even though I'm doubly positive I had swallowed a handful of razorblades the night before. Can't let a little virus get in the way of my too infrequent pampering now can I? I endured a 15 minute massage before moving onto an hour long facial. I was somewhat alarmed during the massage when my allocated woman ran her hands as low as my buttocks. Damn. Talk about a slap-in-the-face reminder that no man has laid hands on me in a very long time. 102 bucks well spent that's for sure. It pays to live in outer suburbia.

I'm off work...
today and plan to be off again tomorrow. It's nice to finally be in a job where I a] don't have to feel guilty about having time off because its a large company and the place wont fall apart without me and b] have lots of sick days. I think we get around 16 as apposed to the measly 7 I got working in private companies. So today has been a day of reading on the couch, surfing the net and sipping lemon and honey dissolved in hot water all totally guilt free. My dream of having the house to myself has come to fruition, albeit not in the way I had hoped.

The real estate...
dropped off the appraisal of my house today. I think I'm getting cold feet. In fact I'm sure I'm getting cold feet. I'm such a creature of habit, how in the hell am I ever going to make myself move? The fact that I will probably get more for my property than I had ever dared dream isn't helping as much as I had hoped. The fact of the matter is my move is not going to be simple as I have the option to sub divide my property and make more money even though it goes against everything I believe in for this leafy outer suburbs neighbourhood.

rotten luck...

2011-07-25T12:42:00.001+10:00

Of all the...
rotten luck in the world, I've come down sick with a sore throat today. Today! The day I have been looking forward to forever. The day I have the house to myself. The day I have a massage and facial booked in. Goddammit. I'm still going for my facial and I'm not going to feel guilty about taking my germs out into the world.

I have been...
reading about the woman who did the 365 grateful project. Given I seem to be slightly discontented with the state of my life right now [house size, teenager always home, winter, never-ending hair growth, lack of ducted heating/new kitchen/new bathroom, achy joints, never enough time to read...the list goes on] I probably should begin my own 365 grateful project. What I cant decide is whether to go with the Polaroid 300 [see below] and stick it all in a scrapbook which could be a whole lotta fun or go with an app on my camera phone.

divine intervention...

2011-07-24T20:24:00.000+10:00

Tomorrow is the..
day. The day when I will finally have the house to myself. [Insert big fat 'yippeee' here] I have time owing to me from work and Teen-M has finally landed a job so I'm doing what I promised myself I'd do. I'm taking the day off and I'm going to the beauty salon for a facial and a massage. Unheard of for me to have both in one day. In fact, unheard of for me to have both in the same year!

I cannot wait...
to wake up and have the entire house to myself sans smelly, noisy, messy teenage boy. You don't know how much I have been aching for the house to be mine, all mine for one whole day. Besides walking my 'adopted' dog at around lunchtime I have zilch else to keep me occupied until 3:30 when I will enter the dark, sweetly scented room, slip off my clothes and lie down to the soft soothing sounds of relaxing music. There I will await the goddess who will spend the next hour and a half pampering me. Oh bliss. It will be worth every damn penny...

house and home...

2011-07-23T19:53:00.001+10:00

I have literally...
thrust myself into the housing market, albeit without really committing to sell or move. You see, I don't like moving. In fact I'm 110% positive it stems from the trauma of being moved [against my will] at age 18. Of being ripped away from all my friends at a crucial emotional growing period and dumped in a suburb way across town. Some 24 years later I'm still being affected by it.

The fact is...
I'm still living in the house I moved into with my ex when we got married back in '88 and up until this point moving has never really crossed my mind. Now I spend my days perusing the real estate online and have even taken it so far as to go and actually see three houses and have the real estate visit to give me an estimate of what I might get for mine.

Moving is traumatic...
but I suspect what is going to traumatise me even more is remaining in my humble abode with a teenager. Several weeks ago I was pondering borrowing some money to spruce the place up. New kitchen and bathroom, maybe some cozy ducted heating, maybe even decking out the back. Then I realised how cramped I'm feeling now that Teen-M is home full time. [yes...he's still fighting with his father] Then I looked into the future ten years and went 'eeek, he could still be here. with me. in this house.' Not only do I need my space but so does he. I can hear practically everything he's doing in our teeny, tiny house. There is no escape. I'm not convinced that once he gets his licence he will be gone all that much as he's a bit of a loner.

So now it...
feels like crunch time might be approaching. The time where I either have to accept we are going to live on top of one another until he moves out or take the plunge and move away from my cute cottage with the huge backyard.

porridge...

2011-07-10T11:08:00.001+10:00

Why is it...
I can eat porridge every single day of the week for wintery-months-on-end yet balk at the idea of eating the same thing for lunch or dinner two days in a row? And strangely enough I have no desire to eat porridge on the weekends, reserving those for two wholemeal pieces of toast slathered with an outrageous amount of smooth peanut butter.

Could the tax...
man have made it any harder to find where to download the e-tax program? I mean really...who wants to read all their crappy taxy jargon and wade through pages and pages of garbage? Not me! Just give me the damn .exe file already.

caturday...

2011-07-09T12:55:00.001+10:00

Cat on a hot tin roof...

visit the real home of 'caturday' - rainbowtatt

a red cup kinda day...

2011-07-03T18:51:00.000+10:00

I scoffed myself...
silly this morning. Brunch with Ms Kiwi often takes place at a cozy cafe called Red Cup. Red cup does amazingly well as it is the only 'Caucasian' style cafe in a suburb teeming with Asian eateries. Did I get away with that last sentence? Today I ordered my usual mushrooms, caramalised onion and feta on toast. Yummo. It's a dish that never fails to excite me [and I'm the furtherest thing from a foodie you could possibly find]. I finished off brunch with a nice, light flourless chocolate mud cake [which I would normally avoid like the plague, but is strangely 'just right' at this cafe] and 2 knock-your-socks-off strong skinny lattes. 2.5 hours later, we were all caught up with our gossip, an observation made by token gay waiter who makes me all warm and fuzzy and totally wishing I had a gay male 'bestie'. Alas. I don't.

I then headed...
off with Ms Kiwi to look at 2 rental units she has her eye on [out of total necessity - she has 4 weeks to get out of her current place]. Looking at places has got me rethinking my living arrangements. I have a love/hate relationship with my house, or rather, my 'cottage' that I bought when I got married 22 years ago. It's a small house on a big block. There are things I love about it. And there are things I hate about it. Built in the 60s, it has the standard 3 bedrooms, all decent sizes but it also has a small lounge and kitchen which includes a meals area. My bathroom is, to put it politely, a 'challenge'. Swinging the cat is definitely not an option. My house is cozy. I do love that about it. But then there are things like the toilet being next to the laundry, which is next to the kitchen which totally bug me. Going to the toilet in the middle of the night can be a tad miserable, especially in the middle of winter.

For a while...
now I've been thinking about approaching the bank for a loan. I reckon about $10,000-$15,000 will get me well on the way to upgrading a few existing things and adding a few new things [like a back deck] that might just keep me happy here for a few more years. Although my backyard can be challenging to mow and maintain, I love that I could be totally naked it it and no one could see me. I love that my chickens and duck practically have a football field to roam in. I love to be surrounded by the 'greenness' of it in the warmer months. I love that there are possums roaming it by night and birds cackling in it by day.

is this love?...

2011-07-02T18:27:00.001+10:00

Saw this chair...
today and fell in love. Came in all sorts of crazy material. The red sells for $1049, the green a more modest $899. A matching footstool will set you back a further $300 or so. What's not to love? It also happens to be wonderfully comfy too which is often not the case with chairs like this.

a simple kindle...

2011-06-30T20:15:00.001+10:00

I probably won't...
tell a soul that I know personally...
that...
I just anonymously...
bought someone a
Kindle.
Someone who...
has had a rough life
and would appreciate it
more than you or I ever could...

just because...

2011-06-29T19:00:00.000+10:00

Just because I...
accidentally wore my underwear inside out doesn't mean I have dementia right?
Right!...

thank god I'm of the X kind...

2011-06-25T20:32:00.000+10:00

Lord almighty...
thank god I'm a Gen X, that's all I've got to say. My cellmate at work, who I've mentioned before, is a Gen Y and let me tell you that sharing workspace with a Gen Y is always a tad amusing. In fact I find myself privately shaking my head grandma style. Perhaps I'm too sensible for my own good. Yeah, that's it. Damn my Gen X genes.

You might remember....
my Gen Y co-worker from the other week when she went on a very expensive Schkinny Maninny juice detox that successfully detoxed the drain at work but little else. Instead she spent the week starving herself. One good thing came out of the week, she has now ceased and desisted with the Cadbury chocolate and red bulls at 8:30am and has even be seen to be eating fruit on more than one occasion.

Did I mention...
that on the last day of her detox, Miss Gen•Y totally starved and more than a little deranged, booked flights online. Trouble was, in her state of sans food she accidentally booked them to the wrong destination. Ouch. Half price flights were now going to cost more because she had to get a further flight onto the correct destination. To add insult to injury her partner was later denied his holiday request. I did a silent tsk tsk as I realised they hadn't even put in for holidays before Miss Gen•Y recklessly booked flights.

I've also begun...
to notice that Miss Gen•Y is already following in the footsteps of her pre-predecessor [another Gen Y] who liked to do very little in the work department and a whole lot of everything else. Miss Gen•Y spent the better part of Friday folding wedding gift boxes she had ordered online rather than get stuck into her work. Now I'm all for sneaking a personal email here and there and googling important things like Jenson Ackles when the boss isn't looking but there is a limit and my fabulous Gen•X genes believe in a hard days work for a hard days pay...or is it the other way around?

life's a bitch and then...

2011-06-19T18:17:00.000+10:00

Life's a bitch...
and then you die. Nice. I really, really, really need to set some goals for myself. I really do. I tend to get bogged down in the daily grind of nothingness. Well, nothing of great importance. During a discussion with my cellmate at work I revealed that I have enough money stashed away right this very minute to partake in an around the world trip. "Then why are you here?" she wisely asked. "Get online and book something right now" But then, shes a Gen Y and spending money faster than she can make it. Me? I'm a solo parent, solo mortgage payer and am very used to having lots of financial padding lest something should go pear shaped. But it got me thinking...I really procrastinate (I blame it on my libra-ness - the good old sensible scales, always weighing up the pros and cons of decisions no matter the miniscule importance).

As I plodded...
along to work one bitterly cold morning last week (snug in my climate controlled elantra as all the other smucks use public transport) it struck me that the reason they make teenagers so repulsive is so mums finally sever the umbilical cord ties. It all makes sense to me now. Why else would they go through this jekyll and hyde process?

It's official...
Dr Chris and I are to be wed. No seriously. He is the perfect man. He tears up when small wee fluffy helpless things become ill or die. He looks clean, probably smells delish, has a sense of humour and looks like he belongs in the pages of a comic book with his square jaw and floppy blonde hair. Don't worry. I'll totally share the wedding pics on my blog.

just cruisy...

2011-06-13T15:06:00.001+10:00

Life has been...
cruisy this long weekend. I purposely haven't aspired to do much at all, apart from catch up with a girlfriend over a plate full of to-die-for teriyaki chicken (from an Asian restaurant who obviously has never had an Aussie ring up and ask for takeaway before) and maybe a movie. We forwent the movie in favour of passing the night away gossiping about the weekly happenings.

New throw...

Sometime back I...
discovered cinnamon muesli bread made by Table of Plenty. Muesli bread is somewhere between a pita bread and a chewy pancake and took some adjusting to, but I saw it as a healthy option for workday morning teas. I just popped it in the sandwich press to crisp it up and slathered some butter on top. It was easy to find as Safeway stocked in it the bread aisle. Then they discontinued it. Shock. Horror. So this weekend I tried my hand at adjusting a recipe I found on the web and adapting it to include a cup full of muesli. The result is below. Really, it just looks like a muesli pancake doesn't it? I'm going to freeze them and take one a day for morning tea.

My cellmate at...

work attempted a juice detox called Schkinny Maninny last week. My cellmate's general weekday diet starts off at 8:30am with chocolate and a red bull. Needless to say, it didn't go well. At. All. Monday she was so spaced out that she may as well have been on another planet. The rest of the week didn't fare well either as she wasn't actually drinking the juice because she didn't like most of it. so basically she was starving all week. Come Friday she barely had 1 bottle (of the 6 for that day) and I brought the rest home. I was most looking forward to trying the Schkinny Sleep Well - a relaxing nut smoothie of almonds, brazil nuts and almond milk and was sorely disappointed as I barely got half a glass down. Let's just say I won't be detoxing anytime soon.

the ex plumber...

2011-06-04T17:13:00.002+10:00

Mid week saw...
me lurking around the back yard under the cover of darkness releasing something called a hot water pressure valve. The sound of constant running water on Wednesday night had me sniffing about until I found the culprit. The hot water service that usually has a few lazy drips falling to the ground out of a release hose suddenly had a steady stream of hot water making mud pie of my garden. Subsequently all hot water taps inside the house seemed to be extremely hot. A phone call to my dad (who is interstate) led me to go release a valve I'm supposed to release every six months (and never have) on a 20 year old hot water service. This achieved absolutely zilch.

My dilemma came...
when I had to decide who to ring. Three choices:

Long time plumber friend. Been friends since 1985. Great friend. Great plumber. Shit at doing any plumbing jobs for friends. Possibly have to wait one whole year to get my repairs done.
Plumber on fridge magnet. Came once before to change washers. Seemed to be reliable.
Ex boyfriend of approx 5-6 years ago. Light relationship, kept him at arms length, he broke up with me. Most reliable plumber I know.

I smartly went...
with number 3. Well, why not? It ended amicably. He was a friend of a friend of a friend who did a large plumbing job for me and who I asked out. We went out for 10 months, me happily having a casual relationship, him not so happy and wanting more. He has since gone on to do plumbing work for my sister. The call to him went well. We caught on our grand life stories, namely his marriage and new baby boy and my new job and my unemployed Teen•Monster. I didn't give him a chance to ask about my relationship status and he didn't manage to fit it into the convo. In fact since him and I broke up in January of 2006 there has really been very little happening south of my border.

the battle of the slow cooker...

2011-05-30T17:26:00.001+10:00

I was excited...
when I bought my slow cooker. The possibilities were endless. I conjured up visions of myself walking in the door at 5:15pm to a warm house and a to-die-for aroma as the smell of dinner rushed to greet me from my slow cooker. Then I started looking for recipes and came to the conclusion that slow cookers were really more suited to meat eaters not someone who occasionally eats chicken and fish and never ever red meat.

My first attempt...
turned out a pretty mean pumpkin soup one Sunday afternoon, but in doing so, I realised veggies only need a few hours on high. I decided to jump in the deep end and made a spicy apricot chicken one day whilst I was at work. Now here's the problem. I don't like bones with my chicken so I opted for pieces of chicken somewhere between the size of a strip and a full breast. Let me tell you, 10 hours is a tad too long to cook spicy apricot chicken without bones. I scraped off what I could from the sides of the pot and attempted to pass it off as a 'meal'. Teen•M was having none of it.

So now I'm...
beginning to hate my slow cooker. That's right. H•A•T•E. It totally and royally f*@&#d up my yummy spinach, feta and lentil stew last night. A stew that I had been looking forward to all day as its tasty smell wafted from the kitchen bench to my comfy spot on the couch. Normally I cook up the stew on the stove then shove it in the oven with mashed potato on top. Yesterday, being Sunday, I decided to further experiment with my slow cooker (having totally avoided it since it baked my chicken beyond recognition weeks ago) and entrusted my stew to it whilst it remained under my watchful eye. Rather than go with a mashed potato top I opted for the more exciting dumpling top, hoping to convince Teen•M it was worthy of eating. (red lentils + Teens = don't go together)

I jumped online...
to determine how long dumplings would need in a slow cooker. Lets just say they required far, far more than the 40 or so minutes I gave them. My stew was pretty much obliterated by gooey, mushy half cooked dumpling dough.

Conclusions:

need a timer
need more practice
stick with mashed or slice potato top, keeping dumplings where they belong - nicely crusted in the oven.

muffin sunday...

2011-05-29T15:58:00.000+10:00

I've totally had...
the laziest day ever. But then I did manage to bake these jaffa muffins (above) and I have a yummy veggie stew complete with red lentils, tomatoes, stock, curry, spinach, feta and dumplings bubbling away in my slow cooker. I feel like I'm coming down with something so I've made it a mission to mope about doing very little, apart from being a domestic cooking goddess (for a change).

I think I'm...
going to play bad girl tomorrow and take a day off. More of a mental health day than a I-feel-sick day. Taking a day off when I feel totally well is something I've never mastered. Honesty seems to get the better of me. For the past few days I've felt like I'm fighting off a sore throat and the entire weekend I've been feeling lethargic. Oh joy. I've been chugging down Immune Plus tablets since last week, so I like to think they are doing their job and this thing isn't going to get any worse.

Looking forward to...
Downton Abbey which starts tonight and should be a refreshing change from the usual forensic, medical or cop shows that pepper our nighttime screens. I'm hoping to fall head over heals for it. I could use a good old dose of 'cant-wait-for-the-next-edition'. I'm also frothing at the mouth for the release of Mad Men Season 4. Hurry up already!

mommy dearest...

2011-05-28T12:39:00.001+10:00

I had this...
random thought as I drove to work the other day. It went something like this: "I've tried motherhood and now I think I've changed my mind."

In all seriousness...
though, I have a work colleague who is desperate to have children. There is only one glitch in her perfect plan. She's 38 and still single. Our conversations go something like this:
Her "I went speed dating last night. It was okay. I put a tick against three guys names, but really none of them did a whole lot for me."
Me "Teen•Monster is still lying to me. Yesterday he lied about XXX and XXX and his goddamn room makes landfill smell like strawberry shortcake."
She complains about the lack of decent datable men who are potential marriage (and instant daddy) material and I complain about the man I popped out of my vag some 17.5 years ago.

I don't envy...
my friend who is still wondering what its like to play mommy. I've been there and done that and never need to wonder what is like to have a fresh smelling beautiful boy snuggle up to you or a teenager mumble at you from beneath his hoodie when you ask how his day way. No. I never have to wonder. But I'm also fairly confident that I would have been just as happy if I had remained childless.

lightbulbs and art...

2011-05-22T20:26:00.000+10:00

Have you noticed...
how freakin' difficult it is to buy a humble light bulb these days? Twice I've gone to buy one and twice I walked away grumbling to myself like a mad bag lady. Since when did light bulb shopping become such a minefield? I just want a plain old 75 or 100w bulb that allows me to read a book in my very small loungeroom. Now we have 9w (which is really 45w) or 11w (which is really 55w) you get the drill, along with descriptions such as extra bright, warm white, simulates daylight, maximises brightness, cool. Then you have to decide if you want the curly whirly ones or the ones which have 2 big loops or the plain old boring, yet strangely sexy curvaceous one. And since when did so many people suddenly need screw in bulbs? T'was not long ago that the screw in bulbs took up one or two rows and were kept down the bottom collecting dust because bayonet was the fitting of choice. Now I have to push aside the screw in bulbs to find a few bayonets cowering at the back. Bloody hell, bring back the normal light bulb.

Ms Kiwi and...
myself headed off to an 'affordable' art show today. I'm not sure on what planet $9,900 is affordable for your average Joe (or Joanne) like me. Yes, I kid you not there was a large piece that caught my eye that was that exact price. In all fairness there was plenty of art that came in under $500 but there was a hell of a lot that didn't. My 'affordable' is more like $90. By far the most unusual art was by Janine Mackintosh. All the others were were melding into a big fat whirling tornado of sameness by the time we had done a few aisles. I only wish I could have afforded one of Janine's pieces, let alone have a wall to hang it on. If you are looking for some art that really is affordable you might want to try Red Bubble.

the lie detector...

2011-05-21T11:54:00.002+10:00

What they dont...
tell you when you're carrying around an overgrown watermelon that squeezes the life out of your bladder for months on end, is that one day you're going to need an inbuilt lie detector to catch your teenager out in the myriad of creative lies that he seems to come up with.

Seriously, no one...
prepared me for this. Did the lies spill off my tongue to my parents when I was 17? The memories are a bit fuzzy (on purpose), and yes I might have been somewhat evasive about where I'd been for the past 8 hours and where I was going to be for the next few months, but I didn't lie on a daily basis when asked direct questions. Of this, I'm sure.

Teen•Monster might have...
limited skills but one thing is for sure, he is fast becoming expert at telling nose extending whoppers. We've moved on from "I've not been given any homework this entire school year" to "Yes, I rang about that job and the guy is dropping by our house tomorrow to pick up my resume." "Really?" I ponder this information "Here? To our house? That sounds.....unusual" I say politely, my eyes drilling laser like into his looking for the slightest squirm or shifting of gaze. Nothing. Dammit. Where the goddamn hell is that how-to-tell-if-your-child-is-lying manual they handed out when I popped out my seven kilo watermelon back in 1993? Oh, that's right...there wasn't one!

I suppose I...
should be grateful that my 17.7 year old son is a] mooching about at home and not out walking the streets and acting thuggish and b] can't do much worse than lie to me and have a secret modem for when I confiscate the household one.

for the love of risotto...

2011-05-15T14:09:00.004+10:00

It's taken me...
44.7 years but I've finally learnt what risotto is all about. It all began when I was dining at a local pub/hotel/pokies venue, call it what you will. Never being one to order a bowl of rice when out, the chicken and avocado risotto caught my eye. From the moment that silky rice with tender cooked chicken and large shavings of Parmesan slid down my throat I was sold.

I went back...
a couple more times to enjoy that very same risotto until they changed their menu and sadly, the risotto was no more. I lucked out at another restaurant when I had, of all things, a satay chicken risotto. Sounds disgusting I know. But it was unbelievably delicious. Sadly, they too changed their menu and next time I went back I ordered a risotto with red wine in it. Too much red wine unfortunately. A most unenjoyable dish.

As my risotto...
fetish grew and the places to order a decent bowl in my immediate vicinity diminished, I decided my stubborn stance of "I'm not standing over a saucepan for 20 minutes stirring a pot of rice and stock" was perhaps to my own detriment. I bit the bullet and began making risotto.

My first attempt...
ended up falling just short of being a bowl of glug. Subsequent attempts have rounded out to being pretty damn good now that I've learnt never to let the rice go dry and that adding hot stock tends to make it all happen just that little bit faster. I've even managed to pass off my 'bowl of rice' to Teen•M by serving up a white wine and prawn version to his majesty. For myself I don't mind a humble mushroom risotto or a pumpkin and spinach, or whatever else happens to be on hand.

In fact it...
is now my favourite Saturday night meal. Yes I might have to stand over a pot stirring for the most part of 20 minutes, but its a one pot meal and its winter comfort food at its absolute best. What's not to love?

going the distance...

2011-05-14T17:36:00.003+10:00

Just so you...
know, Going the Distance (Drew Barrymore, Justin Long) is not a good mother-son flick. Thanks to my cellmate at work I decided to watch it. With Teen-M. Last night. For our movie night. Cringe, cringe, cringe. Reminder to self: 28 year, engaged, childless women who own destructive puppies are not good advisers when it comes to movie night at home with teenage boys. The movie was all about sex, phone sex, dry humping and skin the colour of jiz. Say. No. More.

I luxuriated in...
a 4 hour romp of retail therapy today and thankfully, I didn't come home empty handed. I managed to score 3 tops, each one costing no more than $40. The weather has been so shitty and depressing this week (not a good sign since we are still in autumn) that I could think of nothing more glorious than hiding in a large shopping centre. To break the journey and rest my weary feet I stopped off for some Sushi Sushi (a new passion of mine despite the food poisoning scaremongering on trashy current affair shows recently) and a latte, sipped whilst wolfing down a triple choc brownie from Mrs Fields. Have you tried those things? They are to. die. for. Very worthy of some extra blubber around the thighs. And middle. And upper arms.

You know what...
I love about getting older? I don't seem to need much excuse to pamper myself. If I see a jar of $30 body scrub that I simply must have, then I shall have it. If the scent of a candle costing $25 gets me off then that candle will be promptly plucked from the shelf, paid for and popped into my eco bag. Life's just too damn short to burn cheap candles.

fat weekend...

2011-05-08T17:15:00.005+10:00

Happy mother's day...
to me. Happy mother's day to me...happy mother's day to me. That's it. That's the whole total sum of my day as a mother. No call from Teen-M. No loving message. Nada. All I got was "I'll be dropped off in the morning." via text. I suppose I should be pleased with his inadvertent gift of not gracing me with his presence today so I can continue with my totally peaceful, blissful, truthful 24 hours of this, my 17th year as a mother.

I've more than...
enjoyed this self induced 'fat' weekend. It all started with a block of Green and Black's milk chocolate and a twin pack of pineapple freddo (given to me by a work mate) on the couch as I snuggled up to watch It's a Wonderful Life on Friday night. It continued through to yesterday when I met Mrs England for coffee at Harndorf's and wolfed down 2 free chocolates with my 2 skim latte's, along with a nicely warmed Sticky Date Pudding. Of course I couldn't resist taking home with me 6 carefully chosen chockies which ranged from rum to plum. It all culminated this morning as Ms Kiwi insisted I meet her for pancakes at the Pancake Parlour to help lay her pancake cravings to rest. Who can resist that? Instead of my usual strawberry jam 2 stack I lashed out and went with the Bavarian Apple 2 stack. Nice but I think I'll stick to the strawberry jam thank you very much. Can you believe I'm still hungry? Although I think I will lay off the junk tonight and opt for something more wholesome.

My cat has...
lost her meow. Which would be hysterically funny if she looked well. She looks like crap. In fact she looks like someone with a sore throat so I try not to laugh too loud. If you knew how crazily my cat meows you would know what a blissful hiatus it is not to hear her woeful 'fishwife meow' that grates at the very core of my being.

naughty dreams...

2011-05-06T20:22:00.003+10:00

I had a...
naughty dream about a co-worker last night. I'm pleased to say he's a lot younger than me. Nice to know my toyboy fetish of years gone by hasn't totally curled up and died. It was a spoon and snuggle dream as opposed to a down and dirty, sweaty dream. Still, it's left me with a nice warm fuzzy feeling all day. Thankfully he wasn't at work today for me to replay it as I laid eyes on him in the flesh. I would love to give you the exact seconds, minutes, hours, days, years that I have been c•e•l•e•b•a•t•e but its been so damn long I really have lost count. I suspect its been 3+ years and I really don't miss it.

Teen-monster has gone...
for the weekend. PHEW! This goddamn mother business is hard freakin' work. I find it heartbreaking that I popped out such a bald faced liar. This kid could lie his way right back out of hell and in through the pearly gates. Sunday is mothers day. Right now I'm thanking my lucky stars that I can lie in bed Sunday morning with the sheets pulled up to my chin, pretending to be childless. NOW that's what I call a gift.

The days are...
getting shorter, the nights are getting colder. I'm more of a summer person but am beginning to appreciate some things are just so much more yummy in autumn and winter. The extra blanket on the bed, the cozy snuggly mornings under them. Curling up on the couch tucked under a chenille throw rug watching an oldie but a goodie on the big TV (now I have surround sound too). Burning essential oil candles late into the night. Crunching fallen leaves under your boots as you stride down the street. Making a run for the warm car or house if you have been stupid enough to agree to go out in the dark depths of winter. Coffee by George at 8:25 in the morning before I go to work tastes all the yummier as it gets colder. But...I'm still a summer girl at heart.

zen mum...

2011-05-01T17:48:00.008+10:00

It is taking...
every ounce of my being to be a 'zen' mum. Whatever that means. Anyway, it's my new mantra. I only lost my cool with my lazy teen once last week so there's room for improvement this coming week. I can do it, I know I can. I think he's finally cottoned on to the fact that keeping mum happy = time spent with the modem. Yes I hide the modem. I want my 10GB to last more than 1.5 days thank you very much.

Took myself off...
for a big long drive and lunch in Warburton last weekend. Solo. One. Companionless. Friendless. Solitary. Unaccompanied. Unescorted. Sounds all very sad doesn't it? But it wasn't. I actually enjoy my own company and its been a while since I ventured out on a day all by myself. The glorious beauty of it is you can please yourself. Stop where you want, do what you want, dilly dally about all day long if it pleases you. I doubled back to capture this shot of an old fuel pump sitting in the middle of the bush in a long gone petrol station.

Did a tour...
of the Abbortsford convent with Ms Kiwi today. I can't believe this place sits smack bang in the outer rim of the city and I've never been. I remember seeing it years ago from a distance and asking someone what it was. Fortunately it was saved from developers and their 'apartment' dreams to be utilised as an art space. Some of the buildings are still to be restored and it was all pretty magnificent and the tour was all the more delightful for being led by a very 'feminine' guide.

Stopped in and...
had my first Lentil as anything experience whilst at the convent- the veggie restaurant where there is no bill. You pay what you feel comfortable paying. The place was packed and the food was what I expected. I tried most of what they had on offer and enjoyed it all. Wasn't really sure what to pay so put $10 into the box. Now I will have nightmares that I've not been generous enough.

holiday fever...

2011-04-26T10:48:00.005+10:00

Who doesn't love...
a long weekend? Lots of sleep in's, lazy days and....ugg the dreaded house chores. This Easter us Aussies have scooped up an even longer break with Anzac Day falling on the Easter Monday, giving us an extra day on Tuesday. Woohoo, a 5 day break!

I can't say....
I've achieved a whole lot, but that in itself can be a good thing. I've limited my chores to the essentials and hit the town with 2 girlfriends, experiencing my first dose of Japanese food (prefer Thai food) and a comedy show (Dead Cat Bounce). Unfortunately my favourite city place for dessert and coffee Brunetti's was closed which is probably just as well since I've spent a few nights shoveling chocolate in as I lazed on the couch trying to catch up on all my favourite shows. Like I need more calories but Brunetti's has delectable Italian and French cakes and is impossible to resist.

An extra long...
weekend also means time to soak up some guilt free rays in the outdoor recliner and a playdate with the camera. The luxury of extra time means I'm able to come up with such gems as '2 golf balls' and other nonsensical photos. Today I'm heading out alone. Miss Kiwi was meant to come with, but has the addition of a new cat to the household which is proving challenging and keeps her up half the night. Sounds like having a baby to me. So rather than forgo my last day off and waste the delicious autumn sunshine I've decided to go anyway. Since my recent camping trips I'm hankering for some country air so that's where I'm off to.

teenage rampage...

2011-04-23T16:52:00.005+10:00

Is it April...
already? Well, its almost May and I do believe this is my first post for April. Bah! Yes I would love to blog more if I a] wasn't staring at a screen all day long at work and b] had things to say that wouldn't send you comatose. I'm here now because I can't find my goddamn journal that I started [and swore I would lovingly fill with all sorts of crap] and I ~~want~~ need to pour my heart out about what a bad mother I am. Well in the grand scheme of things I'm not really a bad mother, but I guess like most mums there is a lot I feel I could've done better. Like be more encouraging and not complain when entire packets of food go missing.

Let's just say...
Teen-M and I have been going through a rough patch these past few weeks, well since he got fired from his apprenticeship. You can imagine how pleased I was about that. Especially since he was leaving the house pretending to go to work leading up to his dismissal. Now he sits around home all day in a dark room watching TV or playing games racking up a phone bill he can't pay for. We started off well with him doing a myriad of jobs I leave him to do, but he's even getting lazy and half arsed about them. Yes, yes I know it could be worse and I tell myself this every single freakin' day but I'm hoping and cursing that he will soon find his way.

A big blow...
up about the filthy state he keeps his room in resulted in us not talking for most of last week. It's made of all those feelings of losing my little boy resurface all over again. I stare wistfully at photos of him when he was younger. Pining for those simpler days. I wonder how much my parents couldn't stand me when I was 17. I was no picnic either. In fact I didn't talk to my father from around 16 years until I left home at 22. How many more years of this am I going to have to endure?

back to basics...

2011-03-15T20:14:00.002+11:00

So, I'm going...
camping on the weekend. It's been a good few years since I last went, yet strangely doesn't seem all that long ago.

I enjoy camping...
in moderation that is. What I don't enjoy is camping with my sister. She is always raring to go camping, in fact is often the instigator but once there she remembers that she really doesn't like camping at all and sets about making sure we all have as miserable a time as she does.

I love the...
challenge of packing as few necessities as possible. I think one time I managed to get it down to around 3 lotions, potions and items from the usual 25 or so that I use in a day. No really. Just count how many things you use from the time you get up until the time you get to bed [that is if you are a woman]...
shower gel, shampoo, conditioner, face cleanser, shaving lotion, facial moisturiser, body lotion, makeup base, foundation, eye shadow, mascara, hair mousse, perfume, eye makeup remover, face cleanser wipes, night moisturiser, I'm sure there's more...I just need more time to think about it...

to die or not to die...that is the question...

2011-03-14T13:10:00.004+11:00

I've just re-written...
my will. That was a barrel of laughs, let me tell you. It all started a few weeks back with the realisation that my son is now 17.5 years old. 17.5 years! Freakin' hell, where did those years go.

Teen-M's recent track...
record with his money and phone bill since he started work kept bringing up this niggling feeling inside. I couldn't for the life of me remember what was in my will made many moons ago when he was a wee lad. I finally dragged the will out last week and shock horror, if I died tomorrow Teen-M would have a couple of hundred thousand dollars to donate to the phone company when he turned 21.

There is no...
way in hell my son is going to be responsible enough at 21 to handle that kind of money so I changed my will. He will get between $10,000 to $20,000 upon my death (at the discretion of my trustee) and the remainder he will have to wait until 27 years of age. Haha...suffer! That'll teach him for giving me so much grief every time I received his phone bill in my inbox.

Since I'm now...
an ailing 44 years old, I decided it was time to throw in some funeral arrangements as well.

lost ideas...

2011-03-13T17:12:00.005+11:00

There's nothing I...
hate more than the whole blogger life cycle thing I have going on.
Step 1: Have great blog idea whilst driving.
Step 2: Pray for the lights to change to red so I can write down my idea before I lose it.
Step 3: Lights are NEVER FREAKIN' RED when you need them to be.
Step 4: Arrive at destination, blog idea obliterated into the dark depths of my mind.
Step 5: Sit down to blog with not one single great topic idea.

Here's one I...
did manage to write down:
Recently I came across a couple of photos of my adolescent bedroom. A big 'thing' of mine was to cover my cupboards with pictures (I wasn't allowed to stick anything on my walls). As I got older I went through a couple of different stages. Stage one being a double cupboard (and the back of my door) full of dirt bike pictures with the odd rock group thrown in, the later stage being full on heavy metal posters.

And then...I found this...WTF?

This is obviously the very beginning of it all judging by the age of my girlfriend sitting in this pic.

On what planet did I EVER have the hots for Mick Jagger? ewwwwwwwwwwww. It's quite obvious that if MJ was not a rock star he would not be getting laid. EVER.

PS: I'm dying to know who that is in the pic to the right of my girlfriend. Looks like Bon Jovi as a soccer player?? WT?

to move or not to move...

2011-03-05T15:09:00.004+11:00

Cripes, I can't...
believe its been so long since I blogged! I'm happy to report:

work has been uber busy and I've also had the chance to do some photography as part of my job
I'm blogging outside (on a beautiful day) right this very minute thanks to me finally buying a router (just need a new laptop battery now)
the coffee at the golf club was fairly ordinary but in all fairness I had it on the same day I had a 2.5 beaner from a place recommended in the coffee book
I've still retained my refined taste for fine chocolate and haven't reverted back to the nasty stuff, looking forward to a trip to Haighs

In other news...
I'm fairly certain I'm in a state of crisis. I'm stuck between wanting to update stuff around my house and wanting to move. There are pros and cons to both.

I have a nice big back yard which I love to sit out in and get fresh air and look at all the greenery around me.
The back yard is a lot of extra work!

A Unit would be easier to maintain.
I would go freakin' crazy in a Unit.

If I stay I want to update my flooring - both kitchen and carpeted areas.
There are too many damn choices!

If I stay I need to spend some $$$ on maintenance and some new stuff to make me feel content.
If I move I probably wont be able to afford anything much nicer than my own digs unless I move miles further out!

I often think it would be nice to live in a different house with a bigger bathroom and maybe a newer kitchen.
I haven't moved since I left home 20 years ago!

As I said...crisis...

life without coffee?

2011-02-13T19:01:00.004+11:00

One thing I...
am never ever giving up is coffee. No way. No how! My dad gave up coffee for 15 years. Now suddenly he is a coffee expert, driving both my sister and myself mad in the process. He gives ratings out of 10 to every latte he has. He bought us both the Melbourne Coffee Review book [which is fantastic by the way] and now keeps insisting we join him for coffee at his local golf club claiming they consistently serve the best coffee he's ever had! Really? A golf club? I remain skeptical.

I'm chomping at...
the bit to try a place rated as 3 beans - the ultimate rating in the book. And only about 3 out of the 100 have rated the full 3 beans. Fortunately Ms Kiwi is a lover of fine food at funky cafes so I wont have any trouble finding a partner in crime to try some of these delectable coffees. Let's just say if I was told to give up either chocolate or coffee, chocolate would have to go. Now THATS saying something!

life is like a box of chocolates...

2011-02-12T16:48:00.006+11:00

I totally rocked...
my 30 days without chocolate! Well, apart from the cupcake debacle and the swirl of chocolate in my well deserved cocktail. I'm actually kinda wishing I was still on it as I knew eating chocolate again would open the floodgates of gluttonous, unladylike behaviour. I'm a little piggy who can't be trusted with anything remotely chocolaty.

Last Friday night...
I decided to go with the Green & Blacks Milk chocolate as its a purer choc than crappy old fatty Cadbury's that I usually wolf down. I was going to stop at that and I totally did until I had to make a dash to K-Mart (yes, yes I know I vowed never to set foot in there again) with Teen-M on Saturday night. There we grabbed some junk food to go with the James Bond DVD we were going to watch on our brand new BIG TV. So Saturday night saw me inhale a bag of Maltesers. Truly I don't know why I do this as I never feel good when I've finished. In fact, I feel totally CRAP.

So this weekend...
I again went with the Green & Black's block for my Friday night treat and that's it. I mean it. This past 4-5 weeks I've lost a few kilos due to my eating of light, healthy salads for lunch and dinner and obviously the absence of chocolate 3 nights a week has helped. I feel heaps better and I'm keen to lose more. I'll never give up chocolate but I'm hoping to refine my taste and only eat the good stuff.

30 days of no chocolate...

2011-01-29T16:04:00.003+11:00

30 days of no chocolate: Day 29
Let me just start by saying I'm pretty god danged pleased with myself. I've gone an entire 29 days with only 2 minor chocolate mishaps (the infamous ganache cupcake incident and the chocolate sauce swirl in my cocktail). This, from someone who used to eat a block of Caramello on Friday night, a bag of Maltesers on Saturday night and then some other chocolaty thing on Sunday night.

Last night I...
had my very first true craving for the beastly stuff. But I resisted! How could I not when I've dropped around 3 kilos in the past few weeks. PLUS I totally want to make the 30 days. The question is, how soon after the 30 days is up will I be brave enough to shovel some more into my gob? I'm scared that once I start filling myself up with the gorgeous, delectable, velvety goo I won't be able to refrain from being a piggy once more. Sigh...

k-mart, not so smart...

2011-01-23T16:28:00.003+11:00

Dear K-Mart,

You must be having a prosperous year. In fact, things must be looking so good that you no longer need customers. I wish you had of told me this before I wasted a precious half hour of my weekend in your store.

Thanks so much for cutting your stock down by at least half in these times where customers are used to having choices. Your decision to cut out many well known and trusted brands and stock it with your own no-name brand means the only decision I have to make is to turn around and walk out the door to your competitor who stocks what I need.

Today I decided to give you a second chance. I'd hoped you wouldn't let me down. But yet again, you did. You no longer stock any of the brand name pillows like Tontine or Bonds and as I looked around I saw there was really no 'brands' left in your store at all apart from a few token ones as if to prove you aren't biased. I grabbed a set of coathangers and a pair of undies and headed for the checkout to find 8 brand spanking new 'serve-yourself-because-we cant-be-fucked-serving-you' registers and only 1 human manning a register. Guess where all the people were lined up? Yes. At the manned register ignoring the 'serve-yourself-because-we cant-be-fucked-serving-you' registers. I stood there too, in line, making a point but I suspect you ignored me.

I think it best if we agree to disagree. Your store is not for me anymore. Gone are the days where I might spend upwards of $100. In fact I don't think I can be bothered coming into your store again. I wish you well and I'm glad you're not reliant on my hard earned dollars anymore. I'm sure there are plenty of other companies that want me.

Sooz

beware the dangers of chocolate...

2011-01-23T14:50:00.007+11:00

I told you...
the world is fraught with chocolate dangers. I think I had chocolate again last night. Just a teeny weeny bit. I ordered a Toblerone cocktail in celebration of not only Ms Kiwi securing a job, but me too. YeS mE tOo! As of the 31st I have a real job - Digital Marketing Administrator. Sounds important eh?

Back to the...
chocolate. I think there was chocolate sauce swirled around the inside of the glass as you can clearly see by the photo I took of it for my facebook photo blog. I paid $15 for that baby! Was it worth it? Yes. I don't drink much so $15 is practically the extent of my yearly alcohol expenses.

With the security...
of knowing I will be paid every fortnight from here on, I decided to duck into the travel agent yesterday to grab some tour books. Travel is on my mind for 2012. The 'where' has not been determined yet so I left the store with books on Paris [and surrounds] and Canada. I think I'm leaning towards Paris/Europe.

30 days of no chocolate: Day 23
Slip ups: 2
Blocks of chocolate: none
Doing surprisingly well, but then the weather has been on the warm side which helps. PLUS I've lost some weight - around 1-2 kilos! YaY me. Not only have I dropped the chocolate from my diet this month I've also been eating around half my regular intake.

book slut...

2011-01-14T20:05:00.007+11:00

I'm a book...
slut. Pure and simple. I love books. I can't resist books even though I know I don't have the time to read them all. But worse of all? I pick up another book and start reading it before I've even finished the last one! Right now I'm in the middle of about 5 books all because I buy more books before I finish the one I'm reading then the one's I've bought look more exciting than the one I'm reading...and on it goes.

Ms Kiwi just...
found a super dooper cheap bookshop called the Book Grocer. She asked me if I'd like to go back with her. "That could be dangerous" I reply "count me in!". Who cares if I'm a crazy old blind lady with books piled up to the ceilings. They smell less than cats.

30 days of no chocolate: Day 14
Tonight is Friday night. Friday night is chocolate night. But not tonight. No, no, not this night. I saw the blocks of Cadbury chocolate staring at me as I scuttled past them in the supermarket tonight. The sign in front screamed out at me "$3. ONLY $3" I tried not to look. I rushed past the Pods and the Maltesers. You can't catch me I'm the gingerbread man! I bought Darrell Lea Blackcurrent licorice instead.
PS: The chocolate ganache cupcake debacle was caused by a chef! We have a bloody chef in our midst at work and she made the cupcakes. No wonder I was blindsided.

the slip up...

2011-01-12T19:40:00.003+11:00

fuckity, fuck, fuck, fuck...

I know you're...
not going to believe this story but I'm going to tell it anyway. My very fear that I laughed about the other day came true. Tonight as I hit the pavement a tsunami of awareness almost bowled me over. Something had taken place earlier today that I didn't fully comprehend until around 5.30pm

Every Wednesday at...
work we have a morning tea for the entire floor I work on. We take turns to bring food along. Knowing full well I have the strength to resist all junk food this week, I bought along my homemade banana smoothie to our little gathering. I previously decided to allow myself one goodie from the array of food. I saw a tray of gorgeous cupcakes but didn't want an entire one, as I was about to look away I spied this teeny tiny miniature version sitting in between all the big ones. It was the size of fifty cent piece. I took it. Instead of scoffing it straight down as I normally would I sat it primly in front of me whilst I drank my smoothie. Then I enjoyed every teeny tiny bite of that delicious cupcake.

As I walked...
my volunteer dog after work it hit me. The cupcake was chocolate with chocolate ganache icing! O•M•freakin'• G. I had truly eaten chocolate by accident without even thinking. Shit, shit, double shit. I was so determined to go 30 days without it and now I have ruined it because the perfectionist in me cant lie and pretend it never happened.

30 day of no chocolate: Day 12
Successfully said no to all offers of chocolate sweets at my mum's on Saturday night. Pat on the back there. I even scraped off the chocolate cocoa sprinkling from the top of her Tiramisu. Stupid, stupid, stupid slip up today with a miniature chocolate cupcake. But it was delicious!

dirty, dirty, dirty...

2011-01-09T11:39:00.004+11:00

I'm
so
sick
of cleaning
my
bathroom...

When are
they
going
to invent
a
self
cleaning
bathroom
goddammit!

the belly rub...

2011-01-08T15:13:00.004+11:00

I put on...
a figure hugging dress this morning only to realise I look freakin' pregnant in it. Well I'm not. As I looked down at my belly it bought to mind the story of a young male co-worker who told the tale of his gentlemanly deed on public transport. He graciously stood to give his seat to a 'pregnant' woman only to be snapped at "I'm not pregnant!" As our peels of laughter reverberated to his retelling of the story, he finished with "She shouldn't have been so rotund!" As I gently caressed my non-pregnant belly in the mirror this morning I thought how confusing it must be for our men. Just look around at all the bumps next time you go out. Which are babies? Which are last night's junk food? Should they risk being thrown a disgusted look when they try to do the right thing? Should they only get up when they are 100% sure? Even I can tell who is rotund and who is preggers. I think I'll leave my figure hugging dress at home when I go out. Just in case...

I finally figured...
out that gmail offers mail fetcher which means I can get notification when my broadband limit is 80% used. I rarely check the email address which comes with my provider, which in turn means I get a nasty surprise when Teen-M has sucked our data lines dry and I'm suddenly chugging along at dial up speed. Well no more. Besides which, I've taken to randomly removing the modem when I know he's going to be hanging around home all day. Now that' common sense!

another serve of brains please...

2011-01-08T13:07:00.008+11:00

I am totally...
a utterly bewildered on how it is I've managed to give birth to and raise a child who has less common sense than one of my backyard chickens. My chickens have a brain around the size of a common green pea. I'm fairly certain that Teen-M's brain would be more inline with the size of a small melon. It would be fair to say he probably utilises around around 1 percent of it.

At the beginning...
of the week I gave him a list of jobs I expected him to complete [he's on holidays]. The list includes mowing, edge trimming, filling in the pond hole and cutting up some branches. We have a big yard so its a fairly big job. All week its been a nice comfortable temperature of around 25°C. All week he has done zilch. zilch. Friday it hits around 34°C and he decides he's ready to mow at around 6pm. Problem number 1: the mower breaks. Problem number 2: he's out of cord for the edge trimmer. As everything is shut he is unable to do a thing. I yell. Now it's Saturday and we've been to the mower shop and back. It's 34°C and he wants to go to his father's for a week starting tomorrow morning. I yell some more. Now I have to be the hard arse who insists his jobs are done before he goes whether or not he ends up with heatstroke. I have to act all "Who cares if you fall over from heat exhaustion? Not me. You've had all week to do this."

I often leave...
the house with simple instructions. "Hang out the washing when it's ready." "Make sure you shut the windows if you go out." "Don't leave the air conditioner on." It's all pretty simple really. Time and time again I come home to a house full of open windows or washing still sitting in the machine or an air conditioner that is running whilst it's only 24°C outside. And still...I yell....aaaaaarrrrggghhhhhh.

30 days of no chocolate: Day 8
Last night was friday night = movie night. We hired Iron Man 2. I loaded up with sugary treats as opposed to the normal block of Cadbury Caramello chocolate. I bought licorice allsorts, bananas and mixed lollies. I had a few but refrained from stuffing myself as I normally would. I didn't miss the chocolate. Not one bit. But then...it was a hot night and I usually don't feel like chocolate when it's hot.

26 things...

2011-01-06T18:17:00.006+11:00

Ms Kiwi and...
I hit the pavement earlier this week in one of the arty inner city suburbs to take some shots. I took my Canon 500D and my Canon ftb [circa 1972]. I went armed with the 26 things list I first stumbled across on Rainbowtatt's site. I'm a bit late I know but here's the list and here are my first few offerings. Don't hold your breath for the rest.

Green

An arrow

Strange

Reflection

Framed

1. Tall
2. Amazing
3. Round
4. Hidden
~~5. Green~~
6. An animal
7. Dirty
8. Early
9. Weather
~~10. An arrow~~
11. Curve
12. Tomorrow
13. Inside
14. A ceiling
15. Watch out
16. Key
~~17. Reflection~~
18. Track
~~19. Framed~~
20. Busy
~~21. Strange~~
22. Upside down
23. Spots
24. Shoes
25. Weathered
26. Sunday morning

oops...

2011-01-06T15:46:00.004+11:00

I'm scared I'm....
going to accidentally eat chocolate. No really, I am. I'm not sure how this is possible but you never know. Chocolate is lurking everywhere. Waiting. Waiting...just for me. It knows I'm here. It knows I'm weak. It knows.....eVeRytHiNg!

More to the...
point is that I'm scared I will forget I'm not supposed to be eating it and purchase and pop it in my gob without thinking. This is entirely possible you know.

Just finished my...
second day back at work. I miss 'holiday' me. I've fallen straight back into the drudgery of day to day work life. I have, however, managed to make and take my smoothie to work with me both mornings. I simply make it at breakfast time, pop it in a tupperware shaker container and have it at morning tea. It's just a delish as when I have it at home [apart from the lovely green scenery that I enjoy when kicking back with my smoothie in my backyard].

30 days of no chocolate: Day 6
no cravings...yet and no chocolate dreams. Banana lollies still unopened.

holiday smoothie...

2011-01-03T10:12:00.005+11:00

I'm still enjoying...
my 'holiday' smoothie. So far I've had one every single morning for breakfast since I started my holidays back on the 23rd December. Of course it tastes better outside on the back patio amongst the garden. It's amazingly delicious. Here's my recipe.

Holiday Smoothie
1 banana
1 dessertspoon SlimRight powder (vanilla)
1 dessertspoon wheatgerm
3 dessertspoons vanilla yoghurt
big squeeze honey
splash of milk

Cut up banana and place in blender until smooth. Add all other ingredients and blend for around 30 seconds to 1 minute.

Personally I don't use much milk as I like a thick smoothie. Add more milk if you like it to be more milkshake like. [I add the SlimRight power for protein purposes as I don't eat any red meat so omit this if needed]

damn I love sundays...

2011-01-02T10:12:00.010+11:00

I woke at...
around 2am this morning, my right hand fondling my left breast. What's that about? Turns out, some time during the night Kevin Costner dropped by my dream. I'm not entirely sure the two occurred at the same time as it's all a bit fuzzy. Just for the record I don't have, nor never have had, a thing for Kev. Kev asked if he could come by my house after work [strangely we were working together]. Apparently we'd done he dirty before and thus, flattered he wanted to go a second round I said yes because as you well know, it's been a dry few years for me. It soon became clear Kev's girlfriend was there with him. [dirty rat] I threw him a disgusted glance. He said he only wanted to come around and plug his external hard drive into my pc to test it. huh? Now that's original.

For those who...
are thinking of purchasing some Original Source mint shower gel. DON'T. Particularly if you are a girl. 3 words....burning pink bits. Yes. You read it right. The mint makes your pink bits burn. Am I the only one to discover this? With not-so-nice tingly pink bits I promptly shoved it to the back of the cupboard and went and bought the lime one instead. No burning pink bits for me!

30 days of no chocolate: Day 2
Bananas. I really need to buy some of those lolly bananas. But the soft kind. I hate the break-your-teeth hard ones. As you can see I'm already working on a chocolate distraction.

no thanks, not today...

2011-01-01T12:19:00.006+11:00

A brand new...
year. I'm not going to start it with unachievable resolutions. I've never really been one to do that. But I am going to embark on my 30 days of no chocolate. Last night I went over to Ms Foodie's house for NYE. Her partner was home but took himself off to bed well before midnight as he had an early shift in the morning. [Unfortunately Ms Kiwi couldn't make it] We sat outside, the evening being beautiful and balmy after a scorcher of a day, and talked whilst I inhaled half a box of Ferrero Rocher chocolates, keen to get as much chocolate in before the the stroke of midnight and the dawn of a brand new year. I thought I was good to stop at half the box because lets face it, if I was home alone I would have shamelessly polished the entire box off.

There are a...
couple of reasons I am going to give it my best effort to stick to the 30 days of no chocolate.

1] I don't even taste the chocolate I eat anymore. It's become less about enjoying the taste of something and more of a shovel-it-in-as-fast-as-I-can habit. I want to taste and appreciate chocolate again.

2] I would like to cleanse myself of the cheap and nasty chocolate and develop a taste for 'real' chocolate. I had some of the Green and Blacks chocolate recently and would like it to become more my 'thing' because I noticed I tend to eat less of it.

3] My once a week chocolate night has blown into at least 3 nights a week.

4] I'm getting fat and fatter.

5] I would like to start eating a little bit healthier.

30 days of no chocolate: Day 1
No cravings YET. However it should be noted I'm not in the habit of eating chocolate at this time of day.